The Quiet Signals We Send
I was reminded of an old, but meaningful story yesterday, while facilitating a leadership session at Aviva in Perth.
As my co-facilitator George set up a buddy coaching activity, he mentioned the importance of eye contact.
He simply said that whoever you made eye contact with on the count of 3, would be your buddy for the next activity.
It was a simple passing comment, but it really landed.
In that moment it took me back to an experience from a few years ago.
I was in Brussels, Belgium to address a large conference.
A few minutes before I was to share my remarks, I noticed a little boy, around 6 years old, looking directly at me.
In that split second, I made eye contact with him, tilted my head slightly to one side, smiled, and gave him a friendly little wink.
He smiled back and tried a little wink too.
For a brief moment in time – we enjoyed our little connection and smiled together.
It was an innocent thing.
It was just a quiet, human signal that said, 𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
In that instant, connection happened, without any words, or any effort.
Watching participants pair up yesterday, I noticed the same thing happen.
It is particularly important in building rapport and establishing a connection.
When eye contact was present, people slowed down.
Listening deepened and somehow the room softened.
And that’s the thing, we didn’t create connection by doing more.
We simply created it by noticing more.
These moments are easy to miss and easy to rush past.
But they’re often where the real work happens.
In leadership, coaching, and facilitation, we often focus on what we say.
But connection is just as often created in the quiet moments…through presence, attention, and the signals we send without speaking.
Sometimes, all it takes is a little wink to remind someone they matter.
Who in your world might simply need to feel seen?
