Signals

At the start of our leadership session yesterday, my fellow facilitator was sitting in a very tall chair, and I was sat nearby in a much smaller one.

I couldn’t help myself; I looked up at her, then looked at all of the participants and made a silly comment about how it felt down in my seat, to some laughter in the room.

It was a fun light moment that struck me again this morning.

All of us are always sending signals, often without realising it.

They can take many forms.

It is not always the things we say or our tone of voice.

For example, through where we position ourselves, the space we take up, our body language or even the height of the chair we sit on.

These small, often unintentional cues can strongly influence how safe people feel to speak up, to question, or to offer a different perspective.

In Gestalt coaching, there is a simple idea that awareness precedes choice.

Until we notice what is happening, whether in the room, between people, or within ourselves, then nothing really changes.

Once we do notice however, even a small choice can shift the experience for everyone.

Soon after that moment, my colleague quietly went and found another tall chair, so we were more level again.

No explanation. No fuss. Just a small, thoughtful adjustment.

That is the kind of quiet leadership that often goes unnoticed.

Not loud or performative, but attentive and responsive.

A willingness to notice impact, not just intent and to act in the service of others.

It reminded me that leadership doesn’t always require a big intervention.

Sometimes it’s the smallest shifts that make the biggest difference to how people experience us.

Paying attention to these non-verbal signals can give you insights into what someone might be feeling, even if they’re not saying it explicitly.

We just have to notice.

What signals might you be sending without realising it?