Tag Archive for: Thinking

We Are Our Thoughts

Our thoughts are incredibly powerful.
They affect us in many ways – our mood, our behaviours and our outlook on life.
I’ve always loved the scripture in Proverbs 23:7, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…”
Recently I have been paying much more attention to the things I am thinking every day.
I consider whether my thoughts are positive, negative or even neutral.
…Apply the proverb to real life…
If my thoughts are filled with positivity, then so I will be.
…with negativity, then so I will be.
We literally become our thoughts.
We 𝒂𝒓𝒆 our thoughts.
In short – I am learning again that the quality of my thoughts has a direct impact on the quality of my life.
I love this quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”
Subsequently, if you want to have a more meaningful and purposeful life, then begin to pay more attention to the things you think about every day.
Start by considering the things you tell yourself every day.
For example, are you struggling with someone?
A spouse, partner, a sibling, parents, a friend, or a workmate perhaps?
Pause for a moment and stop yourself.
Watch your thoughts…
Do you see what is happening in that moment?
What do you think about in your heart, when you think of them?
What do you notice?
Are your thoughts negative or positive?
If its negative, challenge yourself, and your thinking.
For me those challenges start early in the morning, when I make plans for the day ahead.
Start by engaging new positive thoughts and watch them start to grow day by day.
See how it feels.
I am relearning that when we change your thoughts, you can change your life, one thought at a time.
What would happen if you took just one thought today and intentionally shifted it from negative to positive?

Guarding Against Silent Judgment

Five years ago, I wrote about the dangers of pointing out faults in others. See https://www.darylwatson.org/…/the-dangers-of-pointing…/
Reflecting upon that blogpost, one thought comes to mind as I try to do better, is this… “I choose not to let passing judgment become a silent habit that I don’t know is happening.”
It’s easy to slip into judgmental thinking without even realising it, by quietly critiquing others’ choices, behaviours, or appearance in our minds.
Just the other day, I caught myself doing that very thing.
When unchecked, this internal habit can become a barrier to compassion, humility, and true meekness.
Passing judgment often starts as a whisper in our thoughts.
It might seem insignificant, a fleeting observation of someone else’s shortcomings or differences.
However, these seemingly small judgments, left unaddressed, can build up over time, shaping how we view and interact with others.
Worse, they can become so ingrained that we may not even recognise when we’re doing it.
Our perceptions of others become clouded by preconceived ideas, biases and crazy notions, which can erode our ability to extend love and understanding.
To counter this, it’s vital to actively constantly cultivate self-awareness.
Just as we try to monitor our words and actions, we must also be mindful of our thoughts.
A helpful practice is to pause when a critical thought arises.
Ask yourself: “Why am I thinking this? Is it rooted in compassion, or is it a reflexive judgment?”
By catching these thoughts in the moment, we can prevent them from taking root and influencing our attitudes.
More importantly, we need to replace judgment with empathy.
We are each on a unique journey in life, filled with struggles, difficulties, and stories we may never fully understand.
I believe when we shift our focus from judgment to empathy, we can begin to respond with kindness and support, rather than criticism.
We can remind ourselves that, just as we desire grace for our own imperfections, others deserve the same grace.
I am more committed than ever to avoiding the silent habit of judgment.
It requires constant vigilance, self-reflection, and intentionality.
By staying mindful of my thoughts and striving to replace judgment with empathy, I hope to become more mindful of my interactions, seeing the best in others and focusing on love rather than faults.
How can you prevent judgmental thoughts entering your mind?

Thinking Together

I marvel at the thoughts, insights and commitment that I see from my colleagues and dear friends in my leadership, learning, coaching, mentoring, training and facilitation network.
It is clear to me that they are learning from their own journeys and experiences of life.
Willingly, freely and regularly they share those learnings with others.
There is a great power in all of our journeys.
There are critical learning points and instruction all along the way.
We just need to slow down long enough to learn those lessons for ourselves.

Potential

As learning protagonists, professional coaches and mentors, our responsibility is to help unleash the real potential of those people with whom we work.
And how do we do that?
One meaningful conversation at a time.
My personal witness is that I have seen many individuals figuratively take a step into the “unknown” with a good coach or mentor by their side.
How have you grown these last few years?
What leadership lessons have you learned through your journey in life?

…thy might

Reflecting this morning, I was mindful of a scripture in Ecclesiastes 9:10.
“Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might…”
In the world in which we live, there is much worthwhile work for every one of us to do.
And when we do, we must remember these words from Solomon in Ecclesiastes.
That we must go and do, whatever it is, with our might!
And going and doing at times may mean a lot of actual work.
And yet, once again, I am grateful for my peers and fellow coaches who have found something to do and choose to go and do it with their might.
With the help of a coach or mentor, all of us must come to an honest, open self-examination, an awareness within, as to who and what we want to be, do and achieve.
“To the noble art of getting things done we must add the more noble art of leaving things undone.” – ancient oriental saying.
Coping with the complex and diverse challenges of everyday life, which by itself, is not an easy task, can upset the balance and harmony we seek.
I know of many good people who care a great deal and are trying very hard to maintain balance, but they sometimes feel overwhelmed and defeated.
If that’s you – then reach out to a good coach or mentor today, with their might, they “might” be able to help you along your journey in life.

Curious?

“How do I have better conversations?” the young missionary asked.
In response I said, “Be curious!”
We then roleplayed several conversations, restating and rephrasing words spoken, then asking further questions, by being 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔.
It was enlightening as we explored questions together.
Children tend to have it in abundance.
Curiosity has to be a personal practice.
Curiosity allows us to find out about another person’s reality, their views and their perspective.
Its easier said than done, but it takes humility and meekness, to escape the trap of thinking/feeling of “being right” at times, and see beyond our own thoughts.
To be really curious you need to see beyond what you think you know and become much more fascinated by the way others see things.
Consider every conversation as an opportunity to learn something new.
Curiosity requires that you become genuinely super interested in what the other person is thinking and saying.
It is important to slow down, be very present and take time to ask questions, listen and observe.
And you also need to suspend any judgements that you may be tempted to make!
Be inquisitive.
Ask others their opinions, their perspectives, and their approaches to certain things.
“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” – Albert Einstein.
Curious minds are exploring minds.
Yesterday, I met a complete stranger and engaged with them on a personal level, by being curious about where they came from, why they were in Amsterdam, and simply showing some genuine interest in them.
It was a wonderful conversation, and we discovered some insightful connections.
I was simply being curious.
These are a few of my thoughts and ideas this morning.
I’d be really interested in hearing a few of yours.
How do you stay curious?

Conversation Buddies

At our recent zone conferences, we held a communication activity.
We created a safe space to talk out loud and recreate a companionship council.
It was fun to observe, as each missionary verbalised their thinking.
They each taught one another something they didn’t know!
I noticed too, sometimes, we don’t listen to each other at all.
We may speak at each other, or past each other, rather than with each other.
Part of the exercise was to learn how to talk with one another in honest and effective ways.
Communication is an essential part of daily life, it’s like a lubricant for all our relationships.
Entering a conversation, we join with our own opinions, feelings, and experiences.
Conversations can hold immense power, create connection, and help us to grow.
With their conversation buddies, missionaries learned how to communicate more effectively, in turn leading to the need for some change.

Change

Change is hard.
We’re all human, and we all have our struggles, right?
Your biggest rival to change is most likely some internal obstacle that is going on in your head!
– A lack of confidence
– Laziness
– Procrastination
– Stubbornness
When we attempt to change, sometimes we may apply the wrong tactics.
Yet, daily, seemingly small decisions, can all add up to make a big difference.

Time

As I watch each missionary arrive at the start of their mission, over time, I see them develop, and change.
As each of them humbly turns to one another, and then ultimately turn to Jesus Christ’s great example, He increase’s their capacity to change.
Exercising their faith in Jesus Christ, it is only through Him, that they are all given the strength to make lasting changes in their lives.
He literally changes their hearts, because of His great love and empathy for the people He served.
He can and will do the same for each of us, as we accept His invitation to “Come Follow Him”.
Week in, week out, I am a witness to many, who have experienced a “change of heart” (Alma 5:26) as they learn more about divine communication.
Why not seek out a new conversation buddy, and speak with a missionary today…
How can faith in Jesus Christ help you to change?

My Best Thinking

Frequently our minds are at warp speed, with a jumbled clutter of thoughts that seem more disorganised than inspiring.
In those moments it can be difficult to do any thinking at all!
My “best thinking” however, seems to occur when my mind is somewhat relaxed and quiet.
Time seems to slow a little and I can sit quietly and just think.
A quiet spot, with no interruptions is the best place for me.
It’s my place, where I find peace and quiet time to think.

Three Places

I have three favourite places where I do my best thinking.
Firstly, sat in the living room, on the couch, pondering, reflecting, and studying.
Secondly, often I am awakened in the middle of the night when it is dark and quiet. One or two words come to mind, followed by a flow of inspiration. I arise from bed and capture the thoughts that follow in my journal or on a notepad.
Thirdly, in the shower. The warm water seems to increase the flow of dopamine to my brain and physically relaxes my body, which allows my inner thoughts to really shine. There has been a lot of research done on this and it is actually known as the “shower effect”.

Timing

Interestingly, all of my best thinking also happens in the early hours of the morning.
Its in those wee small hours, when I’m not focused on an issue that I’m concerned about, that answers usually always come.
It is the time when my most meaningful ideas arise.
“In the hustle of the marketplace there is money to be made but under the cherry tree there is rest” – Ruskin Bond.
Wherever you go and whenever you take time to think, perhaps the most important thing is to actually slow down and make some time just for thinking.
It is my experience that ideas don’t just happen in certain places, they happen at certain times, too.
When and where do you do your best thinking?

As a Man Thinketh

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭?
“For as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he” – Proverbs 23:7
The vast majority of Proverbs were written by King Solomon.
You will recall that he was regarded as one of the wisest men who ever lived.
Each concise proverb is designed to give us a deeper perspective on life, living, and in turn, hopefully better decision making!

My question then is…

“Is this statement actually really true?”
Consciously or subconsciously our minds are always in motion.
“Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny” said David O. McKay.
The ability to learn, to think, to choose, and to reason, all define us as human beings.
I believe that our innate ability to think, goes much, much deeper.
Essentially, our thoughts become a reflection of who we really are.
Daily, we can choose to fill our minds with whatever we want.
And there is so much choice!
Good, Bad, Beautiful, Ugly, Happy, Sad, Clean, Unclean, Cheerful, Dreary, Hope, Despair…..
Whatever we choose to let into our minds will in turn, generally become the pattern of what will then transpire in our lives.
Who we are, and where we are, in life is principally the result of our own actions and choices, all of which begin in our minds as thoughts and desires.
If you think it long enough, you are very likely to do it.
Daily we choose.
Daily we act.
It is in our minds that our futures are made.
We are responsible for the thoughts we think and the purposes we pursue.
You are the master of them.
Controlling our thoughts helps us to conquer ourselves.
“What we see triggers what we think, what we think influences what we desire, what we desire affects our actions, our combined actions determine our character, and our character determines our eternal destiny.” – Dallin H. Oaks
Is your mind a happy place to be?

Nobody is a Nobody

𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲!
Through my life, career and church service, oftentimes I’ve heard phrases like “what does it really matter, I’m nobody,” or “I’m just one of the thousands, I’m nobody really”.
Perhaps in the past you may have felt you were a nobody, or maybe you are feeling right now that you are a nobody?
“We do ourselves a great injustice when we allow ourselves, through tragedy, misfortune, challenge, discouragement, or whatever the earthly situation, to so identify ourselves. No matter how or where we find ourselves, we cannot with any justification label ourselves “nobody.”” – said Marvin J. Ashton.
Frequently life, work and family challenges can get us down and cause us to question who we really are. We doubt ourselves, we doubt our self worth and confidence may fail us. I have been in too many coaching conversations where that has been the case.
Please, please be assured – you are a somebody!!!
You are endowed with great gifts, unique capabilities, special talents all waiting to be discovered, developed and finely tuned.
Each of us are needed.
You are unique.
You are where you are supposed to be.
No one, absolutely no one can take your place.
Everybody is somebody to me.
My simple invitation today is to invite you to be somebody, nobody thought you could be.

Asking Questions

What will you do differently because of what you learned today?

Asked any good questions lately?

Questions can be extremely powerful. They help us to think, feel and do things differently.

We all need to learn how to ask great questions!

Some professionals like doctors, lawyers and journalists are taught how to ask great questions as part of their training.

In my own professional career through sales and coaching, I have found it equally important to be able to formulate and ask the right question.

Questions aid performance, close sales, help provide inspiration and direction, they even help to build trust and rapport.

“Management teams aren’t good at asking questions. In business school, we train them to be good at giving answers.” – Clayton Christensen.

It’s time to be a little more curious. Asking questions is an important part of life and learning.

As a coach, I am constantly asking questions to help clients move forward.

– What do you really want?
– What do you need most right now?
– So what?
– Why now?
– How can you be truer to yourself?
– Can you tell me more?

What question can you use today to unlock your own potential?

Penalty Points…

No! Not again – another 3 points! 😟
1989, an unforgettable year. I was in my 24th year of life. Young, enthusiastic, driven and eager to succeed.
I’d just secured a new job in sales and vividly recall taking the train down to Adwick-le-Street, near Doncaster, to pick up my company car. A new fast car, with a car phone to boot. I was in heaven.
Driving home a few days later, I discovered that I never had so much power at the touch of a small pedal in my life before.
Then it happened.
A few short weeks later, speeding fine number 1. Silly me I thought.
Another few weeks and speeding fine number 2. I’d better slow down I thought.
And not many weeks later, speeding fine number 3. I had to slow down.
I can’t recall my boss’s exact words (thanks Tony), but they went like this…”Daryl if you get caught again, you’ll be banned from driving with 12 points, and we’ll have to let you go.”
Albeit I was forced too, but I learned a much needed powerful lesson.
𝑰 𝒔𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒅 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏.
In time the points expired.
Frequently in life physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and socially we all may be 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒄𝒆𝒅 to slow down.
Yet, it is far better to 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒔𝒆 to slow down.
To speed up in life, sometimes you need to slow down.
When will you “slow down?”