Tag Archive for: self reflection

Is it time to move on?

Recognising that you’ve outgrown something—whether it’s a job, relationship, hobby, or even a lifestyle—can be a challenging but necessary step in personal growth.

I find we hold onto familiar things out of comfort or fear of the unknown.

Yet, life is constantly evolving, and outgrowing certain aspects of it is a natural part of this journey.

As a coach, I’ve discovered that there are some tell-tale signs that it’s time to move on.

Stagnation and Lack of Growth

One of the most common signs that you’ve outgrown something is a feeling of stagnation.

You’re no longer learning, evolving, or feeling challenged in a meaningful way, manifesting itself as boredom or frustration.

At work for instance, you might find that your tasks have become monotonous, with no opportunities for advancement or development.

Or in a relationship, it could feel like there is no deeper connection or emotional growth happening.

If you feel stagnant, it’s time to re-evaluate your goals.

Ask yourself what you really want to achieve and whether your current situation is helping you get there.

Set new goals that challenge you, and make small steps toward them.

It could mean seeking a new job, learning new skills, or communicating openly with others about what you need for growth in relationships.

Consistent Frustration or Unhappiness

When you’ve outgrown something, feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, or even resentment often start to surface.

You may feel like you’re stuck or wasting your potential.

In relationships, this can manifest as constant arguments or feeling emotionally drained.

In a career, it can feel like you’re simply going through the motions without any real fulfilment.

If you consistently feel unhappy, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings.

My favourite is journaling, I know it can help you reflect on what’s causing these emotions.

Or with the help of a coach or friend, identify whether the frustration stems from something you can change within your current situation, or whether it’s time to move on entirely.

You may need to set boundaries or have tough conversations, or it could be time to explore new opportunities that align more with your values and passions.

You Feel Disconnected

Another sign is a growing sense of disconnection.

Things that once brought you joy, excitement, or passion may now feel empty.

You might feel like you just don’t belong.

Take time to reconnect with yourself by engaging in self-reflection and mindfulness.

Spend time figuring out what excites and energises you now.

This could mean rediscovering old passions or trying new activities.

If you feel disconnected from a social group or relationship, it may be time to seek out new connections that resonate more with who you’ve become.

Your Values or Priorities Have Changed

As we grow, our values and priorities often shift.

You may start to realise that what once mattered most no longer aligns with your current beliefs or goals.

This could happen with friendships, jobs, or even personal habits.

For instance, a career path that once seemed ideal might no longer align with your desire for work-life balance or personal fulfilment.

When your values change, it’s crucial to realign your life accordingly.

Begin by making a list of your current priorities and values.

What’s truly important to you now?

Once you have clarity on these, you can begin making decisions that align with your new values.

This might mean changing careers, pursuing more meaningful hobbies, or prioritising different relationships.

You Daydream About Something New

If you frequently find yourself daydreaming about a different job, relationship, or lifestyle, it could be a clear sign that you’ve outgrown your current situation.

These daydreams often reflect unmet desires or unfulfilled potential.

Rather than dismiss these thoughts, explore them further.

What is it that you’re yearning for?

Is it adventure, creativity, a deeper connection, or more freedom?

Once you’ve identified your desires, start taking concrete steps toward making those dreams a reality.

Research new opportunities, network with people who are in fields or lifestyles that interest you, or create a plan to gradually transition into something new.

In Conclusion

Outgrowing something is a natural part of life, and while it can feel unsettling, it’s also an opportunity for growth and renewal.

A coach can help you along your way.

By recognising the signs—stagnation, unhappiness, disconnection, shifting values, and daydreaming—you can take proactive steps to move forward.

Whether it’s setting new goals, engaging in self-reflection, or seeking new challenges, the key is to embrace change and create a life that aligns with your current self.

If you’re in that space now, message me, I’m happy to listen and help…

 

Self-reflection

Daily, I consciously make time for self-reflection.
It has been a life long practice.
Life is much more fruitful when I take some time to check in with myself!
Paradoxically, looking inwards, helps me to look outwards.
It brings perspective to your life.
Reflection requires courage.
As you look in the mirror of self-reflection, consider these questions:
Am I using my time wisely?
Am I living true to myself?
What surprised me today?
What am I doing about the things that matter most in my life? What do I need to change about myself?
What mistakes did I make today and what did I learn?
Have I made someone smile today?
It is so easy to get caught up in the daily vicissitudes of life.
Self-reflection is the key to help you understand what you stand for, what your values are, and in essence what matters most.
A time to consider your behaviour, your goals and whether you are on track.
The practice is all about learning, looking back on the day in order to contemplate your behaviour and its consequences.
It requires time to sit with yourself and take an honest moment to think about what emerged, what worked, what didn’t, what can be done, and what can’t.
Daily journaling is a great tool to enable you to capture your reflections.
I believe that the more self-reflective you are the easier it becomes to make choices in line with your values.
Self-reflection has been shown to significantly improve learning and performance.
The more aware you of your choices and their impact, then the better the decisions will be that you make now and in the future.
Take time to self-reflect – daily!

What lies within us….

I love quotes! They are insightful, oftentimes intriguing and on many occasions inspiring! I found one such quote a few weeks ago now and posted it on my personal Facebook page. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

The words have rung in my ears for weeks now. I’ve searched to identify who the quote was attributed to and have found some evidence that it was possibly originated by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

An extended version appeared in the 1990’s attributed to Henry David Thoreau, who states “What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us. And when we bring what is within out into the world, miracles happen.”

No matter who it is attributed to, it is a powerful, insightful and thought provoking statement about the power that lies within each of us, to rise above the various storms of life and succeed in whatever we choose to do with our time upon the earth.

A Pearl

As I reflected upon the quote, I was reminded of the story of a pearl. A pearl develops from an irritant that gets inside the shell of an oyster, such as a grain of sand. The oyster then produces a special substance, that surrounds the foreign matter and over several years it forms a beautiful pearl. Every oyster produces a different form of pearl and similarly I believe that every irritation within each of us, can produce different results in our own lives – all of which have the capacity, over time to become beautiful pearls. We simply have to recognise those irritants, act upon them, desire to change and watch as they emerge as powerful strengths.

I love this old parable told by J. Thomas Fyans: “There’s an ancient oriental legend that tells the story of a jeweller who had a precious pearl he wanted to sell. In order to place this pearl in the proper setting, he conceived the idea of building a special box of the finest woods to contain the pearl. He sought these woods and had them brought to him, and they were polished to a high brilliance. He then reinforced the corners of this box with elegant brass hinges and added a red velvet interior. As a final step, he scented that red velvet with perfume, then placed in that setting this precious pearl.

The pearl was then placed in the store window of the jeweller, and after a short period of time, a rich man came by. He was attracted by what he saw and sat down with the jeweller to negotiate a purchase. The jeweller soon realised that the man was negotiating for the box rather than the pearl. You see, the man was so overcome by the beauty of the exterior that he failed to see the pearl of great price”

Lesson Learned

And so it is with each of us. Lets not be deceived by the beauty that lies around us, but take a long, long, hard look at what lies within us. We all need to slow down, pause in our busy lives and take much more time to reflect upon those things that really do matter most. Self reflection and its reward of self awareness are critical elements of personal development and leadership in homes, in our communities and in our business organisations.

My invitation is to stop today! Now even! Even if its just for 5 minutes. Reflect upon those things that matter most and bring what is within you, out into the world…. today! Write them down too! You may well be truly surprised and inspired by the pearls you have been blessed with. *Henry B. Eyring stated “Someday, when you know who you really are, you will be sorry that you didn’t use your time better”.