Remember to say please.

Remember to say 𝐩π₯𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞..

Not too long ago, I was reminded of some behaviours that we ought to avoid, namely, criticising, mocking or ignoring others, in other words incivility – it isn’t very pleasant.

Incivility- β€œrude or unsociable speech or behaviour.”

Its opposite is civility – β€œformal politeness and courtesy in behaviour or speech.”

Georgetown University professor Christine Porath, found that people who are civil are viewed as better leaders.

β€œCivility lifts people up,” she says. β€œWe will get people to give more and function at their best if we’re civil. Incivility hijacks performance. It robs people of their potential. … When we have more civil environments, we are more productive, creative, helpful, happy and healthy. We can do better. Each one of us can lift others up.”

Far more important, are the things we do instead….

Do you use the word please?

When did you last compliment someone on a job well done?

Do you listen and seek to understand another person’s views?

How often do you give others the benefit of the doubt?

Do our words, our actions, and even the expression on our face communicate to people around us that we value and respect them?

Think what could happen in our homes, offices, classrooms, and numerous other places if we just treated others with more civility, kindness, politeness and respect.

Think what could happen to our relationships, to our health and well-being.

Yes, life is stressful and often uncivil, but we can change that – little by little – as we choose to embrace civility and simply say please.

How do you honour someone?

How do you honour someone?
If you are the Queen, you may confer a title or an honour such as an MBE, OBE, CBE (Member, Officer, Commander of the British Empire) or perhaps a Knighthood or Damehood. There are many others, but these are the most well-known.
Only one of the Ten Commandments comes with a stated promise: β€œHonour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” see Exodus 20:12.
At University, my bachelor’s degree, was given with β€œHonours” for my extra year of study.
At High School, I was honoured by receiving the school colours for representing the school in various sporting events.
According to the word’s definition, to honour means to treat someone or regard them with special attention and respect, to value, or to esteem highly.
Do you do these things with family members, friends or even complete strangers?
Perhaps it is also about accepting someone as they are and appreciating them for who they are.
What can you do?
Here are my top ten tips to honour someone…
– Treat others with respect
– Cheer someone on
– Listen, listen, then listen a little more
– Celebrate accomplishments
– Be curious and ask questions
– Be understanding
– Serve and help them
– Pay them a compliment
– Show compassion
– Appreciate your differences
You don’t have to be the Queen to bestow an honour.
You can honour someone by the way you act, every day.
Who will you choose to honour today?

How do I become a better leader?

Recently I was asked, “How can I be a better leader?”
My thoughts returned to a childhood memory…
As a child I remember having a kaleidoscope. With each simple turn of the kaleidoscope a new beautiful pattern appeared. Hence the name for a group of butterflies, as they flutter around together – a kaleidoscope!
Kaleidoscopes constantly generate changing symmetrical patterns from small pieces of coloured glass.
In a similar way a kaleidoscope can symbolise anything that changes continually. Consider leadership!
“Trying to describe leadership is like having several viewers trying to compare what they see in a kaleidoscope when the mere act of passing the kaleidoscope shakes up its design.” Neal A. Maxwell.
Growing older, I am beginning to see that life can be like a kaleidoscope. We can get shaken up from time to time. By pausing, slowing down, reflecting and looking inside our kaleidoscope of life and holding it to the light – beautiful new patterns emerge.
Sometimes however, we play the busy card and don’t stop long enough to see the beauty appear.
So it is with the kaleidoscope of leadership. Endless patterns, endless models, endless ideas, endless determining factors constantly shifting and shaping our leadership styles.
What matters most are the constant principles that create the most respected leaders – namely; 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, π’Œπ’Šπ’π’…π’π’†π’”π’”, π’‘π’‚π’•π’Šπ’†π’π’„π’†, π’Žπ’†π’†π’Œπ’π’†π’”π’”, π’‰π’–π’Žπ’Šπ’π’Šπ’•π’š, π’‰π’π’π’†π’”π’•π’š, π’‡π’π’“π’ˆπ’Šπ’—π’Šπ’π’ˆ, π’„π’π’Žπ’Žπ’Šπ’•π’Žπ’†π’π’•, 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕, 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 π’π’ƒπ’†π’…π’Šπ’†π’π’„π’†.
So you want to become a better leader?
Then I suggest you focus on each of these character traits. In turn each will produce a kaleidoscope of beauty, no one can eclipse.

Civility lifts people

“Thank you” she said. “No, thank you” said another. Out campaigning yesterday for what I believe in, something impressed me about everyone I met – every individual person was civil and respectful. What a joy!
I’m not sure why I would have expected anything else, but what I do believe is that each of us should be active in the communities in which we live. We should aim to work cooperatively and do as much good as we can, treating others with respect and civility regardless of different views or perspectives of a given situation.
In Scotland, as another election looms on the horizon, I hope that we will continue to enjoy healthy debate, but also cordial and reasoned exchanges amongst one another. Each of us are free to choose our own political philosophy, where we can think and speak for ourselves. Living in a society which embraces freedom of speech and values democracy is something so important to each and everyone of us. I hope we all get that.
Civility lifts people up and is key to how we engage with others.
Rather than rancorous confrontation, I hope and pray that in the days ahead, we choose to be equally kind, considerate, civil, co-operative and respectful of one another, despite the broad range of views in the political spectrum.


Why is 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 so important in building relationships of trust?

Years ago, whilst attending an annual sales conference gala dinner, to celebrate our successes, I recall an experience which has had a long lasting impact upon me. This is a short story of respect in the workplace.

In all of the usual jubilee, back slapping, festivity and party atmosphere, my boss of the time approached me (he’d been directed by his boss, the sponsor of the evening to speak to me).Β AlistairΒ quietly asked me if I would offer grace to commence dinner. It was an unexpected honour and a request that I’ve never forgotten. Both leaders knew of my strong christian values and beliefs. I said “Yes, of course.”

A few moments later, when invited to do so, I stood and a quiet reverent hush was felt in the large conference room. I offered a simple prayer of thanksgiving and blessing upon the food, then the gala dinner commenced.

I’ll never forget that all evening long, I answered questions on faith & belief! Not quite what I had expected.

Thank youΒ Bruce Ginnever, for teaching all of us a powerful lesson about respect that evening. It was a simple, little thing, yet it had a big impact on many, a lesson that I have never forgotten as I do my best to respect others too.

How can you be more respectful to others?


My parents taught me to be respectful of others.Β  It is a lesson I’ve never forgotten.

Sadly, in our day, far too often respect for others seems to be a value long forgotten.

I was taken with the words of the Queen yesterday whilst speaking at the WI in Norfolk, she said: “The continued emphasis on patience, friendship, a strong community focus, and considering the needs of others, are as important today as they were when the group was founded all those years ago.

“Of course, every generation faces fresh challenges and opportunities.

“As we look for new answers in the modern age, I for one prefer the tried and tested recipes, like speaking well of each other and respecting different points of view; coming together to seek out the common ground; and never losing sight of the bigger picture.”

She said these approaches were “timeless, and I commend them to everyone”

Respect is a gift to be given freely and generously around the dinner table, the canteen table or the boardroom table. Please choose to be more respectful, more selfless, more tolerant, more kind, more friendly.

“When we treat people merely as they are, they will remain as they are. When we treat them as if they were what they should be, they will become what they should be.” – Thomas S. Monson