Tag Archive for: patience

The Patience Spectrum

Following a recent coaching conversation, I decided to study the topic of patience for the last few weeks.
Yesterday, I was running a virtual learning session on a completely different topic and a spectrum or continuum was used to explore one key idea.
It got me thinking about patience again and figuring out what it would look like on a spectrum.
Patience is often praised as a virtue, but it’s not one-size-fits-all.
This morning, I started to see patience not as a fixed trait, but as a spectrum.
And like most spectrums, the extremes can be just as unhelpful as the absence of it.
On one end, there’s over-patience, the kind that borders on passivity and inaction.
You wait too long, tolerate too much, delay the hard conversations.
It feels calm on the outside, but underneath it might be fear, avoidance, or indecision.
On the other end, there’s impatience in overdrive.
Everything’s urgent.
There’s no space for process or people.
Things have to happen now, and if they don’t, then frustrations can arise.
Somewhere in between is the sweet spot: 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒊𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆.
This version is intentional.
Balance is important.
Patience isn’t about stepping back and doing nothing.
It’s about staying connected while giving things the space they need.
You’re not rushing to control the outcome, but you’re not disengaging either.
You stay aware, you stay ready and most importantly you trust the timing.
But here’s the difficult question – it’s hard to know where you are on the spectrum.
If you’re not sure where you stand, ask someone you trust.
Someone who’s seen you in both calm and crisis.
“Do I tend to wait too long, or perhaps not long enough?”
The answer might surprise you, and possibly, it might be exactly what you need to hear.
“Patience is not indifference. Actually, it means caring very much but being willing, nevertheless, to submit to the Lord and to what the scriptures call the “process of time.”” – Neal A. Maxwell.
Where on the patience spectrum do you see yourself right now – and what might help you move closer to the sweet spot?

The Long Road Home

The last few days, I’ve been in Rome attending a world summit that was full of purpose, and hope.
The journey home, however, was quite a different story!
An early morning email from British Airways, warned me of possible flight delays in both Italy and the UK.
It was to prove all true for me.
Delays in Rome, resulted in a missed connection and an unexpected overnight stay in London.
It was a very late night, followed by a really early start again, only to be met by further delays at Heathrow.
To top it off, a hefty bill for 10 extra hours in the long-stay car park, was my welcome home present, which proved to be more expensive than the original 3-day booking. Ouch… ☹
I’ll be reclaiming that and a few other things too in the days ahead.
And then came the realisation… I’m not 30 anymore!
Eventually, I arrived home.
And the moment I stepped through the door, weary and worn, there was some peace and a short period of respite, before attending to another matter at hand.
I couldn’t help but think how often life is like that.
There are moments of real warmth, purpose and beauty, just like Rome.
Then periods of hassle and hardship can follow.
I pressed on through the delays, detours, and discouragement.
And at times, patience was key as it felt like I’d never quite get there, but eventually, I did.
The gospel teaches us that this mortal life is a journey too, often filled with trials that test our faith and patience.
“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” – 2 Corinthians 4:17
There is no shortcut to eternal life.
No express flight to peace and joy.
But there is purpose in the enduring.
And ultimately, arriving is really worth it.
Are you stuck in your own “layover” season right now – discouraged, delayed, or just plain tired.
If so, take heart. Keep going. The journey may be long, but the destination is glorious.
What helps you keep going when your journey is filled with delays?

Small Swarms, Big Lessons

Yesterday, I set out to walk the 13-mile trail around Loch Leven as part of my training for next month’s West Highland Way adventure and Mary’s Meals.
I’d never walked this far before in one go.
However, it didn’t quite go as planned!
About a mile in, I reached for my phone to take a photo… only to realise I’d left it in the car.
The choice was simple: press on without it or turn back… I turned back.
So, before I’d even really begun, my 13-mile walk had become a 15-mile one.
Lesson #1: preparation matters.
Back on track, the next surprise wasn’t the rain or the wind, but the sky, it wasn’t blue – it was black, with swarms of tiny flying creatures.
At first, I thought they were midges.
But a kindly old gentleman wearing a midge net (he came prepared!) informed me they were in fact Mayflies, millions of them.
They got everywhere: in my nose, ears, eyes. Yuk.
Soldiering on, my baseball cap became my swatting device, fending off thousands.
The first three miles and the final three were the worst.
The “in-between” parts of the walk were very enjoyable, filled with beautiful spots and moments of peaceful bliss.
By the time I got back to the car, nearly 5 hours later, I had discovered a new pain in my left foot, a good measure of all over stiffness, and a few unexpected memories.
But I had done it! Fifteen miles under my belt, and another step closer to being ready for the West Highland Way.

Lessons Learned

Reflecting on the day, I was reminded of a scripture:
“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” – Galatians 6:9
Sometimes our efforts are met with unexpected swarms, setbacks, and small irritations.
And sometimes in life, the walk is longer, harder, and more uncomfortable than we had planned.
I kept walking and in the middle of the struggle, there were beautiful peace filled moments, and I found a new strength I didn’t know I had.
My hope is that as we keep walking, through all the swarms and setbacks, we’ll become a little stronger, a little more patient, and a little more prepared for whatever lies ahead.
How do you handle life’s unexpected swarms?
PS Donate here for Marys Meals… https://www.marysmeals.org.uk/fundraising…

Two Roads to Humility…

It has been an interesting week thus far in my consulting and coaching world.
I’ve encountered one word, several times over – 𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚.
I’ve worked with different organisations on a number of leadership topics, and yet time and again, our conversations have returned to humility.
Life has taught me that there are two main pathways to humility.

By Choice

Firstly, we can 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 to be humble.
There comes a time when we each have to pause and acknowledge that things aren’t going the way we’d hoped.
It takes real courage to admit, first to ourselves and then to others, that we’re stuck, unsure, or sometimes even, simply way out of our depth.
Humbling ourselves means choosing to open up rather than pretend we’ve got it all together.
It might look like asking for advice, learning from someone who’s walked a similar path, picking up a book, or reaching out to someone we trust.
It’s a quiet but powerful step: a willingness to grow, rather than go it alone.

By Compulsion

Secondly, we are 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 to be humble.
This one can be even tougher, much tougher.
Being humbled often arrives over time, uninvited, through failure, disappointment, or moments when the truth hits home really hard and we realise we’re the ones who got it wrong.
Sometimes even a sense of shame can haunt us for a while.
Its my witness, that it is in those uncomfortable moments that conversely something good can start to happen.
It’s the start of taking ownership, of letting go of pride, and choosing a more sure path.
Though painful, being humbled can become the turning point, where we begin to rebuild more honesty, deeper empathy, and stronger self-respect.
I’ve experienced this in my own life, several times over and it truly is painful.
Research shows, that in the leadership world, when companies hire humble leaders, the whole organisation benefits.
It’s a fact, that leaders who have learned to walk in humility, to be curious, and to engage others collaboratively, are more likely to succeed.
Just think what might happen if we choose to live by this virtue, in our own homes…
Indeed, life is a long lesson in humility!
Which path to humility are you currently walking, and what might change if you chose to take the first step, willingly?

He Calms Storms

I’m no expert on global markets, but this last week has been a torrid one for the world with sweeping tariff plans and many of us scratching our heads and asking what is going on?
Watching the news I see chaos unfold, day after day, right before my eyes.
There is a heck of a lot of noise, all swirled together in a whirlwind of 21st-century geopolitics.
My thoughts turned back to our service in Belgium and the Netherlands.
Many of our missionaries wore little wristbands with the following letters inscribed – WWJD.
In other words What Would Jesus Do?
I found myself asking that question early this morning, and how might Jesus Christ respond to all of this.
Jesus lived in a world not unlike ours – occupied, politically fraught, filled with division, economic hardship, and many leaders vying for control.

A Peacemaker

In my mind as I think about Him, He was first and foremost a peacemaker, not a panic maker.
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you” (John 14:27).
He calmed the stormy seas.
He also taught that “the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).
Truth is not merely political positioning; it is clarity, honesty and transparency.
More than anything, He ministered to the one, healed the poor and uplifted the outcast.
In His economy, “the last shall be first, and the first last” (Matthew 20:16).
Jesus would see people, rather than percentages.
In all of this mayhem, I’ve asked myself – who benefits from all of this?
Jesus would serve, not dominate.
I am mindful most of all of His prophecy in Matthew 24:7 regarding the last days – “Nation shall rise against nation”.
In His great intercessory prayer, He pled with the Father that “they all may be one” (John 17:21).
Jesus tore down walls, bridged divides, and showed us the power of collaboration and mutual respect.
He taught patience, perseverance, and hope.
He didn’t play a 90-day game chasing popularity polls or political wins, but rather His view is an eternal one, built over lifetimes of love, sacrifice, and service.
He calls us all to be peacemakers.
And to remember that real power doesn’t come from political moves – but from love, truth, and trust in Him.
When the world rages, will we still follow Him?

A Quiet Strength

One word has been on my mind a lot lately.
…𝑷𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆.
“…the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.”
All around us, I am a witness to adversity, challenges of uncertainty, trials, pressure, and all kinds of tribulation in today’s world.
Daily, I see dear friends, family and many colleagues suffering from all kinds of concerns, including emotional, financial, health, mental health, physical, spiritual and other work-related matters.
Grief at the death of a loved one, low self-esteem or self-doubt, anxiety or depression, loneliness or isolation, struggling with motivation or purpose, marital or family tensions, work related stress or burnout, job dissatisfaction, doubting personal beliefs, chronic illness or pain, recovering from surgery, feeling stuck or like life isn’t going anywhere and on and on…
Is it something to do with the times that we live in?
How does patience play into all of these challenges?
Even after nearly sixty years on planet earth, I have my fair share of patience still to learn.
Thus far, I’ve learned that patience can act like a steady anchor amidst life’s storms.
“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” – Joyce Meyer
I have also learned to trust in God’s timing and not my own.
To wait with purpose, continue to pray, study, and serve, even when I can’t yet see the results.
We ought to be patient with ourselves, acknowledging both our strengths and our limitations.
As we face life’s choices and decisions, I hope we can exercise careful and sound judgment, making the most of each opportunity that eventually comes along.
It’s easy too, but we must not become disheartened or fall into despair when we are doing all we can.
Instead, my experience has taught me to find contentment in steady progress – even if it comes more slowly than I’d like.
“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.” – A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
Patience may not take away the storm, but it can certainly help us stand firm through it.
Where could a little more patience bring peace or strength into your life today?

Pearls of Wisdom

Yesterday, Monic and I had a rather interesting and refreshing experience at Marchmont Dental Practice in Edinburgh, where our talented niece Sara works.
Some months ago, we made an appointment to trial a new system.
We went for an Airflow clean, a procedure carried out by Sara.
As I understand it, the Airflow technology works by emitting a powerful, yet precise jet of air, water, and fine powder to thoroughly clean our teeth.
The process was surprisingly fun and, more importantly, very effective.
Sara’s skilful approach, coupled with her warm and reassuring manner, made the entire experience both pleasant and at the same time quite educational!
She explained each step of the procedure clearly, putting us both completely at ease.
Dentists aren’t our favourite thing!
The results?
Brilliant!
Our teeth now feel cleaner, brighter, and remarkably smooth.
Reflecting upon yesterday, I couldn’t help but consider the lesson this procedure taught me.
The Airflow clean reminded me that careful, focused effort produces the best results.
Much like this procedure, life requires us to slow down, make careful adjustments, and focus on the task at hand.
It’s tempting to rush through things or seek shortcuts, but just as Sara’s meticulous work ensured a great outcome for our teeth, our best successes often come when we approach challenges with precision, patience, and attention to detail.
And just like our time with Sara, the process can be enjoyable when we engage fully in the moment.
Whether it’s work, relationships, or personal goals, taking a little extra time to focus and adjust carefully can make all the difference.
And who knows?
You might even find some fun and joy in the process!
What area of your life could use a ‘clean and polish’ to make it shine?

The Blessing of Waiting…

When a mother is expecting her baby, the anticipation grows with each passing day.

For our daughter Megan, now overdue with her first child, the wait may feel endless.

Much like pregnancy, life itself is full of waiting periods that test our faith and refine our patience – a hot topic in our recent conversations!

The Lord’s Timing

Yet this period of waiting and preparing mirrors a gospel principle we are all called to live by: faith in the Lord’s timing.

Through the gospel of Jesus Christ, we learn that God’s blessings come according to His divine timetable, not ours.

In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust.

The scriptures teach us: “For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.” (Hebrews 10:36)

Pregnancy, like life itself, reminds us that much of our joy comes from learning to trust that the Lord knows when blessings should arrive.

Preparation

Just as Megan has prepared her home, her heart, and her body for this new baby, we, too, are asked to prepare spiritually while waiting for answers, blessings, and miracles.

In our home, we have a beautiful painting depicting the Saviour’s parable of the ten virgins (Matthew 25:1-13).

Five were wise and made the most of their waiting time, ensuring they had enough oil for their lamps.

Similarly, waiting for a baby – just like waiting for any of God’s blessings – is a time to spiritually “gather oil.”

For Megan, the waiting has certainly allowed her to grow in patience and hope, enduring her final quiet and sometimes uncomfortable moments, before life changes forever.

For us in life, it’s about staying spiritually ready, trusting that the Lord’s promises will be fulfilled in His way and time.

The baby’s arrival—whether today, tomorrow, or in a few days—will happen at the exact moment God has lovingly planned.

The scriptures teach that God’s timing is always perfect: “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Just as birth happens on God’s timeline, not ours, so do the blessings we seek in life.

And when they finally come, the waiting and preparing make the joy that much sweeter.

In this life, we are all “waiting” for the ultimate promise: to return to our Heavenly Father and be reunited with our eternal family.

When Megan holds the baby in her arms for the first time, I’m sure the waiting will be but a memory, a beautiful reminder of the blessing of trusting in the Lord’s perfect plan.

What blessings have you discovered during your own seasons of waiting?

New Beginnings

Life is filled with many twists and turns.
“When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell
At some point in our lives, I believe we will all experience the metaphorical closing of doors, don’t we?
Walking through one door, often closes another.

Closing

Yet, for me, it is a constant reminder that each ending leads to a new beginning, full of endless possibilities.
Returning from Belgium and the Netherlands in the summer has meant that I have experienced a few months of doors opening and closing.
I have started to think what would have never happened if that door hadn’t closed?
“Doors close regularly in our lives, and some of those closings cause genuine pain and heartache.” – Howard W. Hunter
Closed doors can and do provide valuable lessons and insights.
They test our resilience and perseverance, causing us to reflect and reconsider our goals and aspirations.

Opening

Each time a door closes (occasionally they are slammed shut) I need to remind myself that the rest of the world opens up.
And yet, gazing back and dwelling too long on the past, can mean we lose sight of those opportunities opening up ahead.
Sometimes in that moment it can be difficult to see and believe.
Hope can fade.
I have learned again that we need to stop beating on the door that just closed, put it behind us, and look forward to the largeness of life that lies ahead for us.
This is certainly true for me.
I have learned again about waiting and to be patient.
Now with a few doors slightly ajar, I have also learned that when opportunity comes knocking, I need to be ready to answer the door.
Now it’s time to rise once more and walk through the new doors of opportunity that inevitably come along.
Don’t be afraid of opening and closing doors.
Don’t fear them.
Learn from them.
Choose to set out on our life journeys with optimism and be ready to welcome every door that opens along the way.
What can prevent you from seeing a new open door?

Leadership Behaviours

In my experience the greatest leaders – exemplify all of these behaviours…
Kindness – Patience – Meekness – Humility – Honesty – Forgiving – Commitment – Respectful – Selfless – Obedience – Purposeful.
These are the true qualities, virtues, characteristics and principles of servant or values-based leadership.
They are the very roots of civility, homes and organisations the world over.
There is something reassuring about standing for something and knowing what we stand for.
Those who commit to and pattern their lives on these principles, will always flourish.
What do you stand for?
They may sound old fashioned and to some, even namby pamby, but quite the opposite is true – these are virtues of courage and authority.
Practising them individually and collectively will be a powerful antidote to a multitude of ills & societal problems.
Why not perform a simple act of kindness today.
You won’t regret it; in fact, I believe you will make someone smile.