Tag Archive for: mindset

Built Right, Still Wrong…

At home these last few weeks, Monic has been on another mission, painting and decorating.
 
At times the house has been upside down and, on a few occasions, I’ve been enlisted to help.
 
It may have been to move a bed, lift a rug, order something online, build some flat pack furniture, pick up something from a shop etc.
 
Monic’s work ethic is amazing and when she gets started, you simply need to get out of the way.
 
It got me thinking about a few things – especially when it came to flat pack self-assembly furniture this week.
 
I ordered the items online, picked them up from the store and duly started to put the bedside cabinet together.
 
It wasn’t too difficult and within an hour the first was completed.
 
Having built one, the second was easier and within half an hour, the last thing I needed to do was put the drawer in.
 
But alas, for some reason, it wouldn’t fit!?
 
Cue that familiar DIY moment: denial, frustration, blame.
 
Was it me? Did I mess something up?
 
Stumped, I took a closer look.
 
The drawer rail pre-installed by the manufacturer was the wrong one.
 
I couldn’t do a thing.
 
I called on Monic to check it wasn’t just me seeing something wrongly…
 
She confirmed that no tool could fix that.

The Life Lesson

 
And that’s when it clicked, this was a real-world lesson in control.
 
– I had 𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒂𝒍 control when I laid out the parts and followed the instructions.
– I had 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 control when I checked my work and asked for a second opinion.
– But with the faulty rail? I had 𝒛𝒆𝒓𝒐 control. All I could do was adapt. Accept. Return it and reorder.
 
On reflection – I followed the instruction manual with exactness, step by step.
 
But the part was wrong from the start.
 
There was nothing I could do to fix it.
 
Sometimes, even when you do everything right, things still won’t work—because the problem was built in from the start.
 
The real test is how you respond when the plan fails.
 
Are you solving problems—or just following instructions?

Not Everything has a Burning Fuse

At the end of my recent walk along the West Highland Way, on the last evening a few of us watched the new Mission Impossible film.
In these kinds of films someone’s always defusing a bomb with seconds to spare, racing down hallways, jumping off cliffs, and generally saving the world on an impossible deadline.
The opening titles usually have the iconic burning fuse racing across the screen, a powerful visual metaphor for everything at stake and as usual time is running out – fast!
It’s gripping and fun too, but it also got me thinking.
In real life, we all face true emergencies now and then. Medical issues. Financial crises. Family needs. Things that demand immediate action. These moments matter, and responding well to them can change everything.
But here’s the thing: most of life isn’t lived in “burning fuse” mode.
Or at least—it shouldn’t be.
Some of the most important things in our lives don’t come with dramatic music or countdown clocks.
They just sit quietly, waiting. You can ignore them for a while and nothing seems to happen. But procrastinate long enough, and you’ll feel the consequences!
For instance, recently the engineer arrived to service our gas boiler. If we forgot to do that year after year, then eventually the system would fail.
Or think about regular health checkups, saving for retirement, spending time with your family, or nurturing a friendship. These aren’t emergencies. Not yet at least. But they really matter.
CS Lewis said:
“The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.”
We’re all moving through time at the same speed.
The difference lies in how we use it.
Are we constantly reacting to what’s urgent, or are we giving time to what’s important?
So, the challenge is this: Don’t wait for the burning fuse.
Pay attention to the stuff that doesn’t blow up when ignored—but shapes everything in the long run.
What might fall apart later if it keeps being ignored today?

What’s your one word?

In a recent virtual learning session, I kicked off with a simple question as a little icebreaker…
“Give me one word to describe how you’re communicating these days.”
Pausing for a moment to consider their responses, words started to appear in the chat box, including some of the following:
Friendly. Rationally. Deeply. Detailed. Concisely. Comprehensively and many more.
Immediately, we were off to a powerful and thoughtful start.
Some participants then chose to explain further why they were communicating in that manner.
They mentioned their tone, their intentions and the impact it was having.
They began to see and understand the impact beyond their words.
New insights about presence, awareness, mindset and leadership came to the fore.
It turned out to be a moment of powerful reflection for everyone.
Each of us communicate in some way or form every day.
Speaking.
Texting.
Writing.
Posting.
And it doesn’t have to be words, more powerful is our body language and the visual clues we send.
Often, it’s the unspoken that lands the loudest, such as, silence, tone and eye contact.
When was the last time you stopped to ask how you’re actually communicating?
In our session, the simple act of naming how we communicate opened the door to group learning, personal insight, and stronger accountability.
So, pause for a second.
What’s your one word?
And more importantly: is it working for you?

The Cost of Being Lukewarm

Have you ever taken a sip of lukewarm water?
It’s unpleasant, not refreshing, just bland.
Sometimes our lives can feel the same way.
“Fire” or “heat” often serve as symbols of power, knowledge, enthusiasm, vigour and yet can also represent destruction and judgement.
Consider the following:
– She’s set the world on fire.
– He has got a fire in his belly.
– She is a ball of fire.
– He is burning with ambition.
Over the years I have worked with many leaders who have some “fire in their belly”.
Others I’ve met who may be in that undesirable place midway between hot and cold, or even more strikingly “lukewarm”.
I’m reminded of the scripture in Revelation 3:15 – 16 which says “I know thy works, that thou are neither cold nor hot: I would thou were cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold not hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.”
In this context the scripture represents a lack of spiritual passion or commitment.
This idea of someone being lukewarm could be described as follows:
– She’s just going through the motions.
– He’s just coasting along.
– She’s half-hearted about it.
– He’s blowing hot and cold.
It has been my experience that if we want to be successful in our personal or professional lives, we need to ignite that inner fire.
Don’t settle for lukewarm!

Lukewarm: the enemy of progress

Passion, drive, and commitment fuel progress, innovation, and meaningful change.
Without them, we risk stagnation, simply drifting along without direction or impact.
When you are lukewarm about something, the results are frequently the same.
That’s not to say enthusiasm alone guarantees success, but when combined with purpose and perseverance, it becomes a powerful force.
The most effective leaders I’ve met are those who bring warmth, energy, and conviction to their work.
Their hearts can inspire other hearts with their fire.
Their secret? It’s quite simple really, they do something they love to do!
They go to work but never “work” a day in their life!
So, where do you find yourself?
Are you on fire, lukewarm, or simply going through the motions?

We Are Our Thoughts

Our thoughts are incredibly powerful.
They affect us in many ways – our mood, our behaviours and our outlook on life.
I’ve always loved the scripture in Proverbs 23:7, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…”
Recently I have been paying much more attention to the things I am thinking every day.
I consider whether my thoughts are positive, negative or even neutral.
…Apply the proverb to real life…
If my thoughts are filled with positivity, then so I will be.
…with negativity, then so I will be.
We literally become our thoughts.
We 𝒂𝒓𝒆 our thoughts.
In short – I am learning again that the quality of my thoughts has a direct impact on the quality of my life.
I love this quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”
Subsequently, if you want to have a more meaningful and purposeful life, then begin to pay more attention to the things you think about every day.
Start by considering the things you tell yourself every day.
For example, are you struggling with someone?
A spouse, partner, a sibling, parents, a friend, or a workmate perhaps?
Pause for a moment and stop yourself.
Watch your thoughts…
Do you see what is happening in that moment?
What do you think about in your heart, when you think of them?
What do you notice?
Are your thoughts negative or positive?
If its negative, challenge yourself, and your thinking.
For me those challenges start early in the morning, when I make plans for the day ahead.
Start by engaging new positive thoughts and watch them start to grow day by day.
See how it feels.
I am relearning that when we change your thoughts, you can change your life, one thought at a time.
What would happen if you took just one thought today and intentionally shifted it from negative to positive?

Crucial Conversations

Consider the two words below.
– rea𝐂tive
– 𝐂reative
These two words describe the mindset that you can bring to any conversation.
There is a key difference in the position of the letter “𝐂”
Best-selling author Neale Donald Walsch, says “When we 𝐂 things correctly, life becomes 𝐂reative instead of rea𝐂tive.”
Repositioning a letter… one 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 move, makes a 𝒉𝒖𝒈𝒆 difference.
Our mindset is vitally important.
Changing the way, we talk with one another; will change the way we act.
And subsequently changing the way people act, will in turn, as a result, change the outcomes.
Recently I’ve been involved in several conversations about presence.
Presence: being aware of what is happening in the moment, experiencing body sensations, noticing thoughts, feeling emotions.
Whilst deepening your presence can be somewhat challenging, the results can be transformative.
When we are present, we are in touch with what’s really happening.
Research reveals that presence is a capacity that can be developed by everyone.
Being 𝐂reative in the here-and-now is pivotal in re-energising and engaging people around you.
Slowing down is equally crucial.
When people listen to each other, they do their best thinking, by surfacing concerns in both directions.
Subsequently, when you are really “present” and “land” in the moment by addressing what matters most, experience has taught me that new unseen possibilities emerge and come into view.
So, what does all this mean for you and me?
Simply stated, a single conversation can potentially open or shut a door on a whole new future that can help us to become more conscious of how we talk with one another.
Choose to be present today and for a while, give someone your undivided attention.
How do you 𝐂/𝐬𝐞𝐞 things?

Change 6 things!

Facilitating a meeting earlier this week with our Mission Leadership Council, I used one of my favourite little change activities. I paired each participant up with a buddy, had them stand back to back and then invited them to change 6 things about their appearance.
I always love running this activity as it is such a great little icebreaker. It went very well and everyone had some fun together.
There were also some great points made by the participants and some very positive in the moment learning takeaways…
Two points I want to make today about this little activity.
Firstly, I always change something about myself. It is always very difficult for them to spot. When they are all busy changing various things about themselves, I simply sneakily remove my wedding ring. Eventually, after several guesses, someone always identifies the change. I then explain how difficult it is to remove my ring. Its been there a long time – 27 years! And it has great sentimental value, which brings back many memories too.
𝐋𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝟏- Change is sometimes difficult because we have been doing things the same way, for a long time. Little things, are often BIG things!
Secondly, after the activity, everyone changed their appearance, back to how it was. I didn’t ask them to do it, yet every single one of them did!
Why did they do that?
𝐋𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝟐- Simply stated, because that was the way they were before and frequently its much more comfortable there!
Two simple reasons why change is sometimes difficult to achieve!
William Bridges Transition Model, is a great place to start to understand more about change.
What change are you facing today?

Doubt your Doubts

“No, I just can’t do it!” said the coachee.
As a professional coach I have heard that comment on so, so many occasions. It is frequently followed by limiting or debilitating stories of some kind of another.
Centuries ago addressing this issue William Shakespeare in “Measure for Measure” wrote; “Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.”
Much has been written in more recent recent years about our mindset.
Listening to Max Whitlock the British Gymnast after winning his 3rd Olympic Gold medal yesterday, he talked about the importance of a growth mindset, by focusing on the process and ignoring the distractions that come, then enjoying the challenge as much as the conclusion.

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐩𝐬

Another way to look at is to doubt your doubts, before you doubt yourself, by addressing your inner critic directly.
– In short – question your doubt!
– Face the fear, look at it and break it down into smaller actionable steps.
– Remember most folks have impostor-y feelings, fairly often, its quite normal!
– Focus on what you can do and not on what you can’t do.
Remember the view that you adopt for yourself will profoundly affect the way you lead your life.
What can you do today to dismiss those doubts?

Are you FITT?

Are you FITT?

The FITT principle is a smart acronym that gives athletes a workout plan to help them achieve their goals – yet, in a very similar manner it applies to our learning and development habits too.

Ask any athlete and they’ll tell you what FITT stands for – as follows;
F-Frequency: refers to how often you exercise.
I-Intensity: refers to how hard you exercise.
T-Time: refers to how long you exercise for.
T-Type: refers to what kind of exercise you do.

The FITT Principle can help you create your own powerful learning & development plan.

For example – let’s consider studying for a new skill or learning requirement:
Frequency – how often you study
Intensity – how hard you study
Time – how long you study
Type – what type of different study tools you use

If you want to improve your learning & development ‘fitness’ – then apply the FITT principle to your plan and routine. It won’t be long before you witness a difference and your learning will be a winner!

What pulls you?

In my coaching conversations, regularly I find that individuals feel 𝒑𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒅 into something rather than feeling 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒅 by it.

One of the greatest lessons in life is to find something that 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒔 you! If we are open and willing to learn, life has a way of teaching us by 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 us towards something.

When you keeping 𝒑𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 yourself to do something, oftentimes it feels like something you have to do and then it can become tiresome. You can only 𝒑𝒖𝒔𝒉 yourself for so long before you give up. But when you’re 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒅 by something, attracted by it even, it feels like something you get to do and you tend to become even more passionate about it.

I am 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒅 by coaching, personal development and learning – I love it! Frequently, I’ll share my insights and discoveries about what I learn with others, to hopefully inspire and help them achieve more.

In life we learn what is most important by finding something that 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒔 us towards it – this is where we should focus our energies.

Oftentimes the most profound insights are really the simplest.

𝑷𝒖𝒔𝒉 𝒗 𝑷𝒖𝒍𝒍

Consider what 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒔 you. Therein your purpose awaits!