Tag Archive for: frustration

Is it time to move on?

Recognising that you’ve outgrown something—whether it’s a job, relationship, hobby, or even a lifestyle—can be a challenging but necessary step in personal growth.

I find we hold onto familiar things out of comfort or fear of the unknown.

Yet, life is constantly evolving, and outgrowing certain aspects of it is a natural part of this journey.

As a coach, I’ve discovered that there are some tell-tale signs that it’s time to move on.

Stagnation and Lack of Growth

One of the most common signs that you’ve outgrown something is a feeling of stagnation.

You’re no longer learning, evolving, or feeling challenged in a meaningful way, manifesting itself as boredom or frustration.

At work for instance, you might find that your tasks have become monotonous, with no opportunities for advancement or development.

Or in a relationship, it could feel like there is no deeper connection or emotional growth happening.

If you feel stagnant, it’s time to re-evaluate your goals.

Ask yourself what you really want to achieve and whether your current situation is helping you get there.

Set new goals that challenge you, and make small steps toward them.

It could mean seeking a new job, learning new skills, or communicating openly with others about what you need for growth in relationships.

Consistent Frustration or Unhappiness

When you’ve outgrown something, feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, or even resentment often start to surface.

You may feel like you’re stuck or wasting your potential.

In relationships, this can manifest as constant arguments or feeling emotionally drained.

In a career, it can feel like you’re simply going through the motions without any real fulfilment.

If you consistently feel unhappy, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings.

My favourite is journaling, I know it can help you reflect on what’s causing these emotions.

Or with the help of a coach or friend, identify whether the frustration stems from something you can change within your current situation, or whether it’s time to move on entirely.

You may need to set boundaries or have tough conversations, or it could be time to explore new opportunities that align more with your values and passions.

You Feel Disconnected

Another sign is a growing sense of disconnection.

Things that once brought you joy, excitement, or passion may now feel empty.

You might feel like you just don’t belong.

Take time to reconnect with yourself by engaging in self-reflection and mindfulness.

Spend time figuring out what excites and energises you now.

This could mean rediscovering old passions or trying new activities.

If you feel disconnected from a social group or relationship, it may be time to seek out new connections that resonate more with who you’ve become.

Your Values or Priorities Have Changed

As we grow, our values and priorities often shift.

You may start to realise that what once mattered most no longer aligns with your current beliefs or goals.

This could happen with friendships, jobs, or even personal habits.

For instance, a career path that once seemed ideal might no longer align with your desire for work-life balance or personal fulfilment.

When your values change, it’s crucial to realign your life accordingly.

Begin by making a list of your current priorities and values.

What’s truly important to you now?

Once you have clarity on these, you can begin making decisions that align with your new values.

This might mean changing careers, pursuing more meaningful hobbies, or prioritising different relationships.

You Daydream About Something New

If you frequently find yourself daydreaming about a different job, relationship, or lifestyle, it could be a clear sign that you’ve outgrown your current situation.

These daydreams often reflect unmet desires or unfulfilled potential.

Rather than dismiss these thoughts, explore them further.

What is it that you’re yearning for?

Is it adventure, creativity, a deeper connection, or more freedom?

Once you’ve identified your desires, start taking concrete steps toward making those dreams a reality.

Research new opportunities, network with people who are in fields or lifestyles that interest you, or create a plan to gradually transition into something new.

In Conclusion

Outgrowing something is a natural part of life, and while it can feel unsettling, it’s also an opportunity for growth and renewal.

A coach can help you along your way.

By recognising the signs—stagnation, unhappiness, disconnection, shifting values, and daydreaming—you can take proactive steps to move forward.

Whether it’s setting new goals, engaging in self-reflection, or seeking new challenges, the key is to embrace change and create a life that aligns with your current self.

If you’re in that space now, message me, I’m happy to listen and help…

 

Accreditation, Certification and Experience

Recently, I was asked; “What is your coaching certification again please?”

In response I stated, “I have an ILM Level 5 Diploma in Coaching & Mentoring.”

“You don’t have 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 certification then…more of our clients require 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 certification now…” came the reply.

And thus, my soul searching, research and many conversations began.

My ILM Level 5 required 100 hours of coaching, 3 x assessments, 5 days of workshops and a whole host of other requirements too.

Here I am, ten years after being certified by the ILM, looking again at what options were available to gain an ILM Level 7 Certificate or Diploma in Executive Coaching and Mentoring.

The executive certificate is 20 hours of coaching, the executive diploma is 60 hours of coaching, both with 3 x assessments and 4 or 5 days of workshops either online or face to face.

Both involved spending anywhere between £2.5K and £6K, to gain the certification.

I looked at other options with the AOEC, the ICF and the EMCC.

I started to add up not only the monetary costs, but the opportunity costs and the time and commitment it was going to take me to get the word “𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞” on my certification.

Thoughts around the sunk cost fallacy started to play into my mind.

I considered how much future business I’d lose, if I don’t have that word in my certification.

Time to pause and reflect…

“Was it worth all the effort and expense?” I thought.

Whilst all of this was going on, I had the most wonderful conversation with my former coaching Supervisor, who brought me back to reality…

“I wouldn’t underestimate the value of your Level 5 diploma,” said Gwynneth.

“And remember the ‘curriculum’ and structure of the L7 are not so different after all.”

Suddenly it all started to make sense.

For ten years and more, I’ve accumulated some nearly 8,000+ hours of one-one coaching, team coaching and mentoring.

I’ve coached throughout the leadership pipeline, from members of the Board, Chief executives, Managing Directors, Senior Managers, Middle & Junior Managers, to top talent and future leaders.

I’ve designed, delivered and facilitated global coaching programmes online and face to face.

Whatever way you look at it, that’s a heck of a lot of experience.

I’ve had numerous expressions of thanks, and I’ve received many testimonials too.

I had a choice to make, which included doing nothing at all, by simply carrying on as before.

I actually didn’t need to expend several thousands of pounds to get another word in my diploma, I have more than enough experience already.

Other Options?

But perhaps there was another option.

“Is there any other way to show my experience…” I thought.

And then the penny dropped.

I’ve been a member of the Association for Coaching for the last ten years.

I’d even attended many of their workshops/learning sessions either online or face to face.

So, I explored becoming a “Fellow” of the Association which recognises for a small additional annual cost, the experience that I’d gained over all those years.

Subsequently, I am pleased to say that I am now a “Fellow of the Association for Coaching”, which credits me for the many years of professional experience and contributions to the world of coaching and mentoring that I have made.

If you are one of those many coaches out there, where some clients are demanding the word “executive” in your credentials, before you make any rash, expensive decisions, perhaps you should think again.

Fellow Certificate_Daryl Watson

Frustration

What frustrates you?

Frustration: “…the feeling of being upset or annoyed as a result of being unable to change or achieve something.”

I know that an upside of frustration is that it tells you that you still have some important lessons to learn in a specific area.

Are you like me? Gripping a few prickly problem perhaps? You try extremely hard to resolve the issue yourself. Then anxiety and stress start to build. We become our own worst enemy, when infuriatingly despite our best efforts, we can’t resolve the matter. Grrrr!

I was like that for a little while on Saturday morning. What was this huge grizzly challenge? Of all things – a wooden gate! My woodworking skills aren’t amongst my top abilities and my stubbornness meant I wasn’t for listening to any suggestions either.

Yet, sometimes a rescuer comes along and helps. With patience, kindness and tender words, they help you to see things differently, offering alternative solutions to the issue at hand. The answer can only be received if you humble yourself, set aside your pride and listen!

As the tension subsided, working together we resolved the matter. Gate fixed! Thank you to my darling wife, for her forbearance, restraint and composure to deal with grumpy old me. Lesson learned, again!

Feeling overwhelmed?

Stressed, anxious, worried, tense, overwhelmed, working harder than ever – sound familiar?

One of my favourite stories is told by Stephen Covey in “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. It’s based on a story by Arthur Gordon entitled “The Turn of the Tide”.

Arthur recalls a time when he was experiencing deep frustration at work and many challenges in life.

Finally, he went to see a Doctor who told him to spend the following day in the place where he’d been happiest as a child. Then, he gave Arthur four prescriptions in sealed envelopes, to be opened at 9, 12, 3 and 6 o’clock the next day.

As day dawned, off he went to his favourite beach.

At 9 – “𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲” – he heard the birds and sound of the sea.

By 12 – “𝐓𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤” – happy memories came flooding back.

Then at 3 – “𝐄𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬” – he discovers he was focused too much on himself.

Finally at 6 – “𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐝” – he did, knowing that the waves would soon wash them away.

This prescription works for everyone..

Make those internal adjustments now.

Why not apply this remedy for yourself today?

𝐖𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬.