Tag Archive for: failure

Handling Failure

Experience has taught me, that to suffer some anxiety, some stress, some low moods or depression, some disappointment, or even some failure is π’π’π’“π’Žπ’‚π’.
Let me repeat that…. ππŽπ‘πŒπ€π‹!
Everyone fails.
Everyone.
Everyone has bad things happen to them at some point.
Every now and then, a really good miserable day, or even a few of them may come along all at once, lined up perfectly all in a row, day after day!
Maybe you have felt days like that?
Doomed to failure.
Defeated, lost, discouraged, possibly even feelings of shame and inferiority may arise…
You may even choose to prolong the agony by engaging in some mental torture, relentless self-criticism, beating yourself up and continually berating yourself.
When we feel like this, we may even want to hide, to shrivel up or even just disappear.
Have you been there?
It’s easy to be tough on ourselves. Isn’t it!

If this is you, choose to π’π“πŽπ!

It is time to change your relationship with failure.
Take a moment…
Breathe.
Think.
Let me assure you, 𝐭𝐑𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐬 𝐚 π›πžπ­π­πžπ« 𝐰𝐚𝐲…
What would you do to support a friend through a similar difficult period?
By showing ourselves some kindness, respect and encouragement, we can practice self-compassion.
With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.
β€œSelf-compassion has been defined as a self-attitude that involves treating oneself with warmth and understanding in difficult times and recognizing that making mistakes is part of being human (Neff, 2003)
Realising that things don’t always go the way you want them to, is a reality shared by each and every one of us.
My experience is to see failure as a step closer to success, not a step backwards.
How can you be kinder to yourself?
Think of a time when you failed at something and someone responded with kindness and reassurance…
How did that make you feel?

Forgetfulness!

“That’ll be Β£29.50 please.” “No problem” I replied…. And then it happened!

I checked my jacket pocket for my wallet, then my other pocket, then my trouser pockets. “What a plonker” I thought and confessed to the checkout operator, that I’d forgotten my wallet. She laughed. “Don’t worry about it, it happens all the time!” I laughed too. I realised I’d changed my winter jacket to a summer jacket and simply hadn’t put my wallet in my pocket. The shopping was set aside and I promised I’d be back in 20 minutes.

On arriving home, my wife was working in the garden. She looked at me quizzically and asked “where’s the shopping?” I responded “I forgot my wallet.” She burst out in laughter too!

Back to Tesco. I collected the frozen products, back to the same checkout, paid my Β£29.50 and we laughed together a little more…

Almost all of us do thoughtless, impulsive silly things, sometimes through a simple oversight. In fact, blunders are not only an acceptable part of life, but they may even be very helpful. Mistakes frequently help us learn and grow. My experience is that past failures may be guideposts to future success!

Thank you Tesco for helping me see the funny side of my little gaffe and for the good laugh too!

Eat Cake

How do you cope with failure? Coping with failure and disappointment are never easy…

Like you, I’ve had my fair share.

Early in my career, I was in charge of a major event that ended up being an absolute disaster. It was just awful, embarrassing, ending up with an extremely upset client.

I recall returning home late that evening considering what I should do next. Our team’s efforts had fallen woefully short of client expectations.

After wallowing in the mire for a few hours and dealing with the personal disappointment – to make me feel better, I turned to some comfort food for immediate relief! I ate cake!….For a brief moment it helped the negative emotions.

On quiet reflection I thought – “What the heck – we can do better than this”.

Key for me in that one experience included learning not to take the disaster personally, letting go of the immediate emotional baggage that arose, reflect and consider on the why of the failure, accept it, then move on.

I recall I visited the client the next day, apologised profusely, agreed some financial compensation – then moved on. Over the years though, I must confess to having eaten a few of those cakes! What have you learned from failure?

Eaten much cake lately!?