Tag Archive for: facilitation

Every Club Counts

Yesterday, while co-facilitating a Lead the Way session at Aviva in Perth, we were exploring leadership styles.

Towards the end of the session, I thought it was time to bring a little unexpected fun into the room. Earlier that morning, in my preparations for the session, I’d had a silly idea…

So… out came the golf clubs. ⛳

A driver, 3 wood, 4 iron, pitching wedge, sand wedge and of course… my putter.

A few slightly puzzled faces looked back at me!

I asked if there were any golfers in the room and one participant bravely volunteered to come forward.

What followed was part leadership lesson, part comedy golf challenge.

We talked about how no golfer would ever play an entire round with just one club.

The driver might help you launch down the fairway, but it’s hopeless in a bunker.

And a putter is perfect on the green, but not much use off the tee.

The wedge helps with delicate recovery shots.

Each club has a purpose for a specific situation and good golfers learn to read the course ahead of them.

In a sense Leadership styles are very similar.

Great leaders don’t rely on one dominant style for every circumstance.

Sometimes a team needs a visionary leader who paints a compelling picture of the future.

At other times they need coaching and encouragement.

Or they may need clarity, pace, collaboration, challenge, reassurance or direction.

The real skill is sensing what the situation requires… and then reaching for the right “club.”

Of course, no leadership activity involving golf clubs would be complete without a little chaos.

So naturally, we finished by attempting to putt golf balls into a mug from across the room using different clubs.

Let’s just say the success rate varied considerably depending on the club selected!

There was plenty laughter, a little competitiveness, and more than a few surprisingly passionate putting techniques on display.

But beneath the fun sat a simple reminder:

Leadership flexibility matters and there is always a choice, but as we watched John we all realised how he slowed down and really concentred too.

The key message landed – the best leaders are not those who master only one style.

They are the ones who develop the awareness, confidence and adaptability to use the right style at the right moment for the people in front of them.

Or, to put it another way…

Sometimes leadership requires a driver, and sometimes it simply requires a very careful putt into a pink mug!

As leaders, are we carrying a full bag of clubs… or just swinging the same one over and over again?

The Thinking Face

The other day, I was co-facilitating a virtual learning session on coaching for Aviva, on their new flagship leadership programme, Lead the Way.

After an initial exploration of the topic and some key areas to focus on, we sent the participants off into breakout rooms in trios and pairs for a little practice.

Armed with good intentions, a handful of questions, some listening skills and a new coaching model, they had just enough structure to get going.

And off they went.

As I dropped in and out of the rooms, something caught my attention.

Not the questions, the coaching model or even their listening skills.

Rather, it was their 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬.

Many had a very familiar look that said something like, “I’m concentrating very hard on getting this right….”

You know that sort of look that was slightly tense, yet focused, and thinking more about the process, than the person.

There was a kind of intensity about them.

It was coaching… but it didn’t quite feel like connection.

Connection Coaching

I smiled, because (although it’s been a while) I’ve been there too.

In coaching, we can get so wrapped up in doing it right that we forget something simple: Your face is always speaking and more importantly, it is a very powerful tool in the coaching world.

Prior to sending them off into the breakout rooms, we’d spent a while considering questions, those of the verbal variety.

Experience has taught me that you can ask many questions in non-verbal ways through facial expressions, eye contact, a raised eyebrow, a puzzled look, tilting your head to the side, tugging your ear, placing your hand on your cheek, stroking your chin, using hand gestures to help or a combination of them all.

Self-awareness is paramount.

So, I left them with one thought towards the end of the session: “Have a think about what your face was saying.”

It may not something we often think about too often, but it might be one of the simplest ways to become a better coach.

Because great coaching isn’t just in the words we use… it’s frequently in the signals we send.

👉 What is your face saying?

Twelve facilitators in a room…

It’s been quite a journey.

A year ago, this might have felt like a bit of a pipe dream for some at Aviva. But last week in London, it became very real.

For the first time, our full UK Lead the Way facilitation team came together for a couple of days in person. Twelve of us, all part of Aviva’s flagship leadership programme – Lead the Way, finally in the same room after months of working side by side from a distance.

What became obvious pretty quickly is just how much we enjoy working together.

There was a real buzz when this group got going.

Between us, there’s a huge amount of experience, and when we start sharing ideas, swapping stories and building on each other’s thinking, the energy lifts… along with the noise levels.

At times, we were probably one step away from needing a facilitator for the facilitators. 😃

There are also a few proper characters in the team, which really helps.

Strong opinions, quick wit, and just enough mischief to keep things interesting. In other words, plenty of laughter alongside the learning too.

It’s obvious that we’re a group who care deeply about what we do.

It came through in every conversation. At one point, someone described it as “violent agreement” – lots of energy, lots of perspectives, and a slightly chaotic way of realising we actually all agree.

The feedback on the programme so far has been pretty amazing, which we’re proud of.

But there’s no sense of “job done.” If anything, it’s the opposite.

There’s a shared drive to raise the bar even higher, and a real belief that the best days are still ahead of us, especially as we tap into the full mix of skills across our community of practice.

Two days that reminded us why this work matters… and confirmed that getting this group in a room together was a very good idea – especially day two, when a bigger room gave our energy (and volume) a bit more space.

What makes a team really click when you get them in the same room?

Make it Fun

Sometimes, life can bring along difficult situations, hard or even tedious tasks at times.
Some tasks can just drain you, even just the thought of it!
Or am I alone in that thinking!?
You know the ones.
The long list.
The thing you’ve been putting off for a while.
Or even the bit of the day where your energy quietly slips out the room.
I’ve been noticing this a little more in our learning programmes at work with Aviva too.
There’s a very predictable moment, right after lunch.
We come back into the room…
And within minutes, you can almost feel the shift.
Energy dips.
The room gets quieter… but not in a good way.
And it’s nobody’s fault.
We’re all just human after all…
So, quite often these days, we’ve started doing something very simple.
We 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 and have a little bit of 𝐟𝐮𝐧.
Nothing complicated.
Nothing forced.
Just a short, slightly playful energiser.
A quick activity.
A bit of movement.
Something that gets people talking, laughing, interacting again.
And without fail… it works.
Shoulders lift.
Eyes re-engage.
Learning comes back to life.
It all starts with a small thoughtful question:
“What’s one small thing we could do to make this a bit more fun?”
And that question changes things.
I’m starting to wonder if this applies far beyond our learning programmes.
That difficult conversation.
That overwhelming to-do list.
That task you keep avoiding.
What’s one small thing you could do to make today just a little more fun?

Check in – Check out

I bought myself a ball recently.

In fact, I bought three, one for each learning room in Perth.

At the start of every session of the Lead the Way leadership programme at Aviva, we check in with one another.

We assess how everyone is feeling, and we determine what we want from the learning opportunities that day.

At the start, no one really knows each other yet.

There’s that quiet shuffle, a few polite smiles, and the unspoken thought of “please don’t pick me first.” 🫢

It can be awkward and even a bit intimidating. Especially when you’re asked to share something real in a room full of near strangers.

On our final day, we check out and consider again our feelings and what we have learned over the duration of the programme.

I noticed some of my fellow facilitators experimenting with different tools and activities on each occasion.

Sitting, standing, line ups, circles, balloons and balls of all different sizes and colours.

Checking in and checking out, is a big thing.

So, we each bring in the big support…!

For me – it is a rubber ball, nice and bouncy… ⚽

No pressure, no spotlight, just a simple rule: if you’ve got the ball, it’s your turn.

If you don’t, you can relax (or plan what you’re going to say while pretending not to).

And somehow, it works.

And the psychology of it is quite simple.

Turns out, giving people a ball gives their nerves somewhere to hide. And when that happens, the words seem to come a bit easier.

The ball gets passed around (or tossed, bounced or rolled), the room softens, people start to smile, and before long, proper, honest stories start to come out.

Funny how something so simple can help people feel a bit braver, a bit more comfortable, a bit more themselves.

Sometimes, all it takes is a ball to get things rolling.

A small reminder that when people feel safe and at ease, learning has a much better chance of sticking.

So, I’m curious… what simple things have you seen make a big difference in helping people open up?

The Breakfast TV Effect

At the end of a Lead the Way leadership session last week with Aviva in Perth, one of the participants came up to my co-facilitator Jackie with a smile and said:
“You two are like a TV hosting couple.”
Jackie and I looked at each other and laughed. 😆
In that moment, I thought about some of the hosts on BBC Breakfast and just smiled again!
Thankfully, no one asked us to read the weather or comment on traffic on the M90! 😉
The funny thing is, we’ve actually known each other for around twenty years, going all the way back to our days when Jackie worked at RBS and I was part of a management consultancy team acting as a thinking and delivery partner.
Like many professional relationships, life and careers took us in different directions for a while. But recently we’ve found ourselves facilitating together, helping leaders think, reflect and grow.
And it’s been great fun.
There’s something quite special about working with someone where there is already a shared history. Our conversations flow naturally. The rhythm of the room seems easier to read. One person picks up where the other leaves off. A question here, an observation there, a gentle challenge at just the right moment.
Perhaps that’s what the participant was noticing.
In my view, Breakfast TV hosts have that same dynamic.
They create a sense of warmth, energy and ease while guiding people through the morning’s conversations.
In many ways, good facilitation is a little like that too.
It’s not about performing or dominating the stage. It’s about creating a space where people feel comfortable enough to think aloud, challenge assumptions, laugh a little, and leave the room seeing things slightly differently.
I think that is what it felt like last week with Jackie.
When trust and familiarity are already there, the focus stays where it should be – on the learning in the room.
And yes… there was a healthy supply of Tunnock’s Caramel wafers involved last week too.
Some things never change.
It’s been a real pleasure working alongside Jackie again after all these years.
Who knows… perhaps we should start a “Good Morning Leadership” show next?!
Who is the colleague you’d happily host a “leadership breakfast show” with?

Clicker in Hand

This week I had the pleasure of co-facilitating a Lead the Way – leadership session with my colleague Nikki Bartlett of Korn Ferry at Aviva in Perth.
We’ve worked together often enough now to know each other’s rhythm and facilitation style. One of us steps forward, the other steps back. We build on each other’s ideas. We throw in the occasional spontaneous activity. We tease each other, laugh together, and all the while participants join in.
There was one constant from Monday to Wednesday.
The wireless presentation clicker.

The Clicker

The clicker moved between us throughout the day. My turn. Your turn. Step forward. Step back.
And in many ways, so did the learning.
In our facilitation world, the clicker is more than a tool. It’s a signal. Whoever holds it is guiding that stretch of the learning. It might be 30 minutes, or even an hour or two.
However, there was just one small issue…
Each of us must have misplaced it at least ten times – old age I hear you say!
It vanished onto tables. Slipped behind laptops. Hid on chairs. At one point, I’m fairly sure it developed legs. By Tuesday afternoon, we were casually asking the room during every pause, “Has anyone seen the clicker?”
It became our unofficial catchphrase!
And yet, somewhere between losing it for the sixth time and the tenth, something struck me.
The clicker kept moving between us all week.
But the learning moved even more.
It moved from us to the participants.
From one table to another.
From a question in the room to a story at the back.
And often, right back to us again.
And the funny thing is, every time the clicker disappeared, the learning didn’t stop.
The conversation carried on, the thinking deepened and the energy stayed in the room.
Which is a good reminder for those of us who work in learning and development.
Slides, models or tools don’t create learning and the clicker definitely doesn’t.
It is curiosity, dialogue and shared ownership that does.
The clicker changed hands all week.
But the real learning in the room wasn’t driven by a button, it was driven by each participant.
So, what moves learning for you?

The Quiet Signals We Send

I was reminded of an old, but meaningful story yesterday, while facilitating a leadership session at Aviva in Perth.
As my co-facilitator George set up a buddy coaching activity, he mentioned the importance of eye contact.
He simply said that whoever you made eye contact with on the count of 3, would be your buddy for the next activity.
It was a simple passing comment, but it really landed.
In that moment it took me back to an experience from a few years ago.
I was in Brussels, Belgium to address a large conference.
A few minutes before I was to share my remarks, I noticed a little boy, around 6 years old, looking directly at me.
In that split second, I made eye contact with him, tilted my head slightly to one side, smiled, and gave him a friendly little wink.
He smiled back and tried a little wink too.
For a brief moment in time – we enjoyed our little connection and smiled together.
It was an innocent thing.
It was just a quiet, human signal that said, 𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
In that instant, connection happened, without any words, or any effort.
Watching participants pair up yesterday, I noticed the same thing happen.
It is particularly important in building rapport and establishing a connection.
When eye contact was present, people slowed down.
Listening deepened and somehow the room softened.
And that’s the thing, we didn’t create connection by doing more.
We simply created it by noticing more.
These moments are easy to miss and easy to rush past.
But they’re often where the real work happens.
In leadership, coaching, and facilitation, we often focus on what we say.
But connection is just as often created in the quiet moments…through presence, attention, and the signals we send without speaking.
Sometimes, all it takes is a little wink to remind someone they matter.
Who in your world might simply need to feel seen?

Facilitating Learning

Last week, while facilitating a leadership development session with my colleague Jennifer at Aviva in Perth, I was reminded of something simple, yet important.
What we do as facilitators is often described as training, but that word doesn’t quite tell the whole story.
Training suggests content delivered and instructions followed, often focused on specific tasks or skills.
But learning is different.
Learning happens when people pause, think for themselves, reflect on their own experience, and decide what they might do differently, if anything at all. It’s less about short-term competence and more about long-term growth.
I was also reminded as facilitators, we wear many hats. We’re guides, listeners, designers, timekeepers, sense-makers and occasionally quiet instigators of good discomfort.
Our role isn’t to provide all the answers, but rather to create the conditions where learning can take place.
– The 𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐬 we share matter – by giving people language for things they already feel but haven’t yet named.
– The 𝐓𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐬 matter because they slow thinking down and help turn insight into action.
– The 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 matter most, because learning sticks when people talk, test, practice, and make ideas their own.
Working alongside Jennifer was a reminder of something else too.
We weren’t trying to be the same. Our styles, pace, and energy were different.
Yet there was a shared awareness that the learning improved when we listened closely to one another, adjusted in the moment, and allowed space for rhythm rather than control. Not sameness, but harmony.
Unity ≠ Sameness, Unity = Harmony
Harmony in our facilitation showed up through timing, restraint, and responsiveness… sensing when to step forward, when to step back, when to speak, and when to let silence do the heavier lifting.
That isn’t training. It’s learning in motion.
And sometimes, it’s helped along by a very large Sharpie… making thinking visible, a little messier, and far more fun for everyone in the room.
What helps learning come alive for you?

Better Together

Back in June last year, I found myself in Rome at a 2-day conference.

After 13 years of working for myself, I was feeling a little restless. I was older, the market had shifted, and I sensed it might be time for something a bit different.

An opportunity popped up in a group chat, and on a bit of a whim, I responded.

A few hours later whilst at the airport waiting to fly home, I had a conversation with Sophie.

A few weeks passed…and, as they say, the rest is history, starting with Aviva on September 1st.

This week, we’re co-facilitating together again in Perth.

Co-facilitation is when two or more facilitators deliver a session as a team.

It means sharing responsibility, switching between leading and supporting, and staying in tune with the room throughout.

Minute by minute, hour by hour, our working relationship really matters.

When you work with someone you genuinely get along with, something shifts in the room.

There’s ease and trust – constantly.

A real sense of “we’ve got this together.”

To me it seems we listen better, adapt faster and learn from each other.

I have noticed that we’re able to laugh when things don’t go exactly to plan – and somehow we seem more resilient too!

Managing energy levels, keeping an eye on group dynamics, being the subject matter expert or even the timekeeper – all to ensure great outcomes, is a genuine joy with Sophie.

In leadership and in learning, we often focus on what we deliver:
The content. The outcomes. The impact.

But just as important is how we stand alongside one another while doing it.

Because when people work well together – truly well – it shows.

Participants feel it. Energy lifts. Conversations deepen.

And the work becomes not just effective, but really enjoyable.

Over the next two days, we’ll facilitate discussions, invite reflection, and hold space for learning. But underpinning all of it will be something quieter and more powerful:

A good working relationship.
Built on trust.
Strengthened by humour.

And occasionally like yesterday sharing a memory of NHS milk bottle glasses, when we were 8 & 11 respectively!

Who makes work feel lighter for you?