Tag Archive for: conversations

Curious?

“How do I have better conversations?” the young missionary asked.
In response I said, “Be curious!”
We then roleplayed several conversations, restating and rephrasing words spoken, then asking further questions, by being 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔.
It was enlightening as we explored questions together.
Children tend to have it in abundance.
Curiosity has to be a personal practice.
Curiosity allows us to find out about another person’s reality, their views and their perspective.
Its easier said than done, but it takes humility and meekness, to escape the trap of thinking/feeling of “being right” at times, and see beyond our own thoughts.
To be really curious you need to see beyond what you think you know and become much more fascinated by the way others see things.
Consider every conversation as an opportunity to learn something new.
Curiosity requires that you become genuinely super interested in what the other person is thinking and saying.
It is important to slow down, be very present and take time to ask questions, listen and observe.
And you also need to suspend any judgements that you may be tempted to make!
Be inquisitive.
Ask others their opinions, their perspectives, and their approaches to certain things.
“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” – Albert Einstein.
Curious minds are exploring minds.
Yesterday, I met a complete stranger and engaged with them on a personal level, by being curious about where they came from, why they were in Amsterdam, and simply showing some genuine interest in them.
It was a wonderful conversation, and we discovered some insightful connections.
I was simply being curious.
These are a few of my thoughts and ideas this morning.
I’d be really interested in hearing a few of yours.
How do you stay curious?

Crucial Conversations

Consider the two words below.
– rea𝐂tive
– 𝐂reative
These two words describe the mindset that you can bring to any conversation.
There is a key difference in the position of the letter “𝐂”
Best-selling author Neale Donald Walsch, says “When we 𝐂 things correctly, life becomes 𝐂reative instead of rea𝐂tive.”
Repositioning a letter… one 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 move, makes a 𝒉𝒖𝒈𝒆 difference.
Our mindset is vitally important.
Changing the way, we talk with one another; will change the way we act.
And subsequently changing the way people act, will in turn, as a result, change the outcomes.
Recently I’ve been involved in several conversations about presence.
Presence: being aware of what is happening in the moment, experiencing body sensations, noticing thoughts, feeling emotions.
Whilst deepening your presence can be somewhat challenging, the results can be transformative.
When we are present, we are in touch with what’s really happening.
Research reveals that presence is a capacity that can be developed by everyone.
Being 𝐂reative in the here-and-now is pivotal in re-energising and engaging people around you.
Slowing down is equally crucial.
When people listen to each other, they do their best thinking, by surfacing concerns in both directions.
Subsequently, when you are really “present” and “land” in the moment by addressing what matters most, experience has taught me that new unseen possibilities emerge and come into view.
So, what does all this mean for you and me?
Simply stated, a single conversation can potentially open or shut a door on a whole new future that can help us to become more conscious of how we talk with one another.
Choose to be present today and for a while, give someone your undivided attention.
How do you 𝐂/𝐬𝐞𝐞 things?

Time is Life

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞.

It is irreversible and irreplaceable.

This year has been very different from others gone by.

For the last 10 years, I’d coach circa 15 people one on one, and have around 100 – 200, sixty-to-ninety-minute coaching conversations a year, in amongst my many other professional activities.

This year, I’ve coached circa 150 people one on one, and have had around 1000 – 1200, twenty-to-forty-minute coaching conversations, in amongst my many other missionary activities.

It’s been a little busier, very different, more intensive and a little more tiring too!

However, I absolutely love it!

In amongst all of those coaching conversations, there have been many incredible discoveries made.
Amongst the many coaching techniques, I frequently use, is a very simple one, it’s akin to judo.

The word judo consists of two Japanese characters, ju, which means “gentle”, and do, which means “the way”.

Judo, therefore, literally means the gentle way.

I did say it was simple!

This is the model.

• Invite them to share their story
• Ask questions, to create curiosity and to explore their journey.
• Share a personal story as an alternative view.
• Review – what can I do better?

As you review 2022 and reflect upon all that has gone by, perhaps you can ask yourself this question too…

“What could I have done better?”