Tag Archive for: connections

The Quiet Signals We Send

I was reminded of an old, but meaningful story yesterday, while facilitating a leadership session at Aviva in Perth.
As my co-facilitator George set up a buddy coaching activity, he mentioned the importance of eye contact.
He simply said that whoever you made eye contact with on the count of 3, would be your buddy for the next activity.
It was a simple passing comment, but it really landed.
In that moment it took me back to an experience from a few years ago.
I was in Brussels, Belgium to address a large conference.
A few minutes before I was to share my remarks, I noticed a little boy, around 6 years old, looking directly at me.
In that split second, I made eye contact with him, tilted my head slightly to one side, smiled, and gave him a friendly little wink.
He smiled back and tried a little wink too.
For a brief moment in time – we enjoyed our little connection and smiled together.
It was an innocent thing.
It was just a quiet, human signal that said, 𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
In that instant, connection happened, without any words, or any effort.
Watching participants pair up yesterday, I noticed the same thing happen.
It is particularly important in building rapport and establishing a connection.
When eye contact was present, people slowed down.
Listening deepened and somehow the room softened.
And that’s the thing, we didn’t create connection by doing more.
We simply created it by noticing more.
These moments are easy to miss and easy to rush past.
But they’re often where the real work happens.
In leadership, coaching, and facilitation, we often focus on what we say.
But connection is just as often created in the quiet moments…through presence, attention, and the signals we send without speaking.
Sometimes, all it takes is a little wink to remind someone they matter.
Who in your world might simply need to feel seen?

The Power of Networking

A few days ago, out of the blue I received a message on LinkedIn…
“It’s great to meet you. I’m a friend of Brian J. Grim and he mentioned your name to me when I told him I’ll be visiting Scotland. I’ll be visiting the Dundee area this weekend!”
That was the beginning of my association with Robert.
He simply reached out.
We had a few back n forward messages on LinkedIn and established that due to various meeting commitments we could meet for lunch in Edinburgh.
We’d never met before in our life, yet we had so many mutual connections, shared interests and values, it just felt like a good idea to sit down and chat!
And I’m glad we did.
We met up a couple of days ago.
It was extremely uncanny about our life’s similarities, personal interests and general like-mindedness!
We talked about everything from social media, BYU, religious freedom, faith, coaching, leadership, goal setting, career development, and a whole host of personal friends and professional colleagues in our network.
We enjoyed our 90-minute conversation together so much, we determined to keep in touch.
And what is the lesson?
Don’t underestimate the value of reaching out—or saying yes when someone else does.
Just one single message can spark a connection that grows into something meaningful.
In today’s world, relationships and networking are crucial.
Networking can and does open doors.
Take the time to connect.
It has been my experience that the true value of networking lies in the quality of relationships rather than in the number of connections we might have.
Ideas and opportunities arise in our conversations every day and spread through people so quickly now.
And all of it – support, insight, inspiration, often begins with a simple hello and someone reaching out.
Its been my experience that you just never know where a single connection might lead.
That is the power of networking.
Who’s someone you’ve been meaning to reach out to?

When the Journey Stalls

Recently, while driving south on a long trip, we hit a massive delay.
Traffic slowed to a crawl and then a stop, not because of any obstacles in our own lanes, but as we listened to Radio 2, we learned of an accident on the opposite side of the motorway.
Like many of these moments, it was a reminder of life’s unpredictability.
The delay cost us nearly an hour, and the accident shut down the northbound side for miles.
As frustrating as it was, it reminded us of another incident years ago, driving home from a meeting in Utrecht, headed toward Leidschendam.
That night, there had been an accident on the “snelweg.”
We were far back in the queue and stuck.
Then something unusual happened: people got out of their cars.
Some lit cigarettes. Some chatted. Soon there was large crowds.
I got out to investigate further.
Shortly thereafter, I remember offering brownies from our meeting and spending time talking with total strangers for a while.
There was a kind of spontaneous community born from that unusual moment.
What struck me was how quickly people shifted from isolation (each in their own car, their own world) to connection.
Monic and I have spoken of that event often.
That hour of delay became something meaningful, not because of where we were, but because of how everyone showed up to connect.
It was something we’d never experienced before, nor have again since.
Sometimes life can suddenly bring us to a halt, plans can stall, and our progress stops.
We can get stuck behind a difficult tragedy or trial that comes along.
But in those moments, we can either get upset… or connect, like that day on the Dutch snelweg.
We can either retreat inward or look outward and bless others, even with something as simple as conversation or a brownie.
“Bear ye one another’s burdens and so fulfil the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
We rush through life so fast, but delays remind us to slow down and actually see each other.
Maybe that’s when we’re most able to help carry someone else’s load.
When things stop, don’t just wait. Look around. Who needs you?

Still My Favourite Part

It’s been just over a year since Monic and I returned home from our mission in Belgium and the Netherlands and honestly, one of the things I still love most is catching up with the missionaries we served with.
Week after week, I get to sit down for 1-on-1 coaching conversations.
Whether they are just home a few days, or even a few years now.
We talk about life, school decisions, job paths, relationships, faith, challenges, disappointments, wins.
Big things and small things too.
Sometimes it’s figuring out how to stay spiritually grounded outside the mission.
Other times it’s about handling stress, setting goals, or building good habits and routines.
Every conversation is different, and that’s what makes them powerful.
Just real life.
This week alone, I’ve had the opportunity to catch up and connect with several missionaries.
Every conversation is a reminder: the mission may be over, but the connection isn’t.
And I’m so grateful for every moment of it.
What do you think makes a great coaching conversation?

Generations Connected

Yesterday held many important moments – business in Edinburgh, and a meaningful meeting in the Scottish Parliament on Freedom of Religion or Belief.
But the real highlight was something quieter, more personal: I had the chance to connect with Victoria, the daughter of one of my missionary companions from 40 years ago in London, Dana McBride, whilst she was on a very short trip to Edinburgh with her husband – and I just happened to be in town at the same time!
Time slipped away as we talked.
Though our meeting was brief, it held the weight of decades.
The last time I saw Dana was in 2016 in Phoenix, but yesterday – in a lovely twist – we bridged continents and years with a short video call to Dana and his wife Sheri.
For a few minutes, it felt like no time had passed at all, although it was evident that we are now both a little greyer!
There’s something profound about those kinds of connections – friendships rooted in shared purpose, carried forward into the next generation.
They remind us that the work we do, the relationships we invest in, often echo much further than we ever realise.
“One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.” — Psalm 145:4
It made me wonder, what seeds are we planting today that our children or those who come after us might one day reap with joy?

Human Connections

All week long I’ve been building relationships, making new acquaintances, or catching up with people I hadn’t seen for a long time.
It felt like a lot.
Between 1-1 meetings, coaching sessions, presentations, associate team gatherings, new business relationships, family and friends, I reckon I have interacted with around 350+ different people this week, either face to face or online.
In my personal studies, I researched a lot about Gen Z, those born between 1997 and 2012.
Research shows that despite being the most digitally connected generation, Gen Z is also one of the loneliest.
Their online interactions often lack the depth and emotional nuance of face-to-face communication.
The isolation brought on by COVID-19 exacerbated this, leaving many feeling disconnected.
In my studies, I discovered a new term 𝒅𝒊𝒔-𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆
𝐝𝐢𝐬 – meaning “lack” or “absence” and 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 – meaning “comfort” or “well-being”.
Thus, 𝐝𝐢𝐬-𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 refers to a state of unease, discomfort, or tension.
It isn’t necessarily a physical illness, but rather a psychological, emotional, or even spiritual imbalance.
In my view, we are actually living in a time of massive dis-ease and disconnection.
Technology seems to connect us more than ever, but the reality is that the screens around us disconnect us from the marvels of nature, from our true selves, and from family and friends.
So, how do we overcome this dis-ease or malaise?
This week I had a discussion with a new friend about building connections.
In order to thrive, we all need human connections and face to face interactions.
Those “horizontal” connections are the foundation for our emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing.
But there is also a “vertical” connection that is equally important, with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, that nourishes our spiritual wellbeing.
Jesus said, “Learn of me … and ye shall find rest unto your souls” (Matthew 11:29).
Connection with deity is vital to our sense of meaning in this life.
When we build a relationship with God, we better understand the plan He has for us.
“And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent” —John 17:3
How have you felt “rest unto your soul” recently?

The Good Old Days

We are made up of our memories.
And last night a few came flooding back, as Phil Gibbins and I took a stroll down memory lane….
Stepping back in time, we met at our old Oliver Wyman office at 55 Baker Street in London, followed by a meandering walk in the area and then to a favourite restaurant on Marylebone High Street.
We exchanged a warm hug; joyful smiles were ever present, and our conversation flowed easily as we engaged with one another to reminisce about “𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔”.

Storytelling

As we shared our fun memories, there were stories galore and the air was filled with frequent laughter as we spoke about our crazy antics.
Together we’d weathered some notable experiences during our time frame of shared history, working side by side from 2008 – 2012.
Nostalgic moments, as we felt the power of the past that shaped our present.
Days never to be forgotten!
Over the years, although we’d connected once or twice in bite size chunks on LinkedIn and Zoom, those feelings were simply not the same as seeing each other after such a long time, in real life, to share a drink and meal together.
It was a heart warming reunion, a shared rekindling of a connection that time will never erode.

Life Happens

Life has happened and we are no longer who we once were, the signs of the passage of time had taken their toll!
Our night wasn’t just about the past, as we got caught up on each other’s current lives our aspirations and how much we had changed.
It was an occasion to reflect and appreciate just how far we had come.
A little older and perhaps a little wiser, but still as cantankerous as ever!
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Maintaining ties with the past is so important.
Meeting up with Phil last night reminded me of the old Joseph Parry quote, “Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver, and the other is gold.” – it’s just so true.
As the night came to a close, we recalled our taxi driver “Malcolm” who’d regularly pick us up at Manchester Airport, and the priceless discovery that after all those years he was still on the speed dial of my phone!
Departing, we promised each other that we wouldn’t leave it so many years until we met again, perhaps next time too, with a few other former colleagues alongside for good measure!
What is the most interesting or funniest memory you’ve taken away from a reunion?

Connections

You are not Alone.
Despite having a companion, sometimes I am confronted by the fact that missionaries can feel alone.
Serving in a foreign land, far from home, with a different language and culture can create feelings of homesickness.
It is not easy for some as they wrestle with loneliness and discouragement.
Being homesick isn’t at all bad.
It is natural after all to miss those you love most.
Similarly, it is natural to miss the familiar places you know best, where you feel safe and secure.
Being disconnected can and does bring feelings of loneliness.

Connections

And in my experience, connection is something we all strive for in our lives.
Missionaries, however, always have many people for them to connect with.
Knowing that people love and care, is so important.
Parents, siblings, other family and friends are only a call away via technology or regular mail.
More especially, mission leaders, companions and many other missionaries are always on hand to connect with.
And most of all, there are two people always willing to connect with us, at all times and in all places, no matter what we may be going through, namely Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
Each of us, can always turn to Them.
They know us, personally.
Jesus Christ has said, “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you” (John 14:18).

Overcoming Loneliness

Gordon B. Hinckley said, “I believe that for most of us the best medicine for loneliness is work, service in behalf of others”.
We read in Proverbs, “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore, get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding” (Proverbs 4:7).
Listening ears and an understanding heart comes for missionaries and for you and me), as they take time, to serve, to slow down, to study, to talk and to pray together.
Recently, I have enjoyed doing just that with many missionaries.
Making time for those special connections, really does make a difference.
Who can you connect with today?

Connections

Is disconnection from Wi-Fi an annoyance in your home? It was in ours! “The Wi-Fi is down again” was often a topic of daily conversation.  Resetting the router became a regular household activity.

After some investigation, I discovered the router was over 10 years old – and was overdue for an upgrade. Eventually, I ordered up a new router, and during lockdown – being forced to slowdown – I took the time to set it up correctly. In turn that day, one by one – mobiles, laptops, a tablet, a smart speaker and televisions were all reconnected. Result – no more daily disconnects.

Similarly, these last few weeks, I have noticed something about my personal behaviour. Just like my faulty old router with its technical problems, over the years, I’d become disconnected from far too many of my colleagues, acquaintances and too many friends to even mention. Perhaps, with age too, I had become a little slower!

It was time for an upgrade! With a little focus, slowing down during lockdown has allowed me to speed up again, strengthen my signal and reconnect – one by one! It’s been great fun, lifting my spirits and catching up on a lot of personal news stories!

If you are feeling disconnected, in need of a lift, why not reconnect – go for that upgrade today!