Tag Archive for: choice

Busy

Yesterday, Monic and I were busy with coaching interviews in Leiden all day.
We both enjoy taking walks with missionaries through the day if we possibly can.
Whilst walking with Allana Frost,we stopped and sat by a large pond.
We were talking about how busy we both were with various assignments and deep in conversation.
As we talked this huge goose approached us looking for food.
It looked pretty mean!
The two of us looked at each other, admittedly a little frightened, and thought it was going to bite us!
We sat still, until it turned away in disappointment that we had nothing for it to eat.
The distraction allowed us to pause, have some fun, and capture a picture or two!
For those moments we stopped being busy with our conversation and laughed!

Choices

Busy, is a choice…..right?
An almost standard reply many give or receive these days when asked how things are is “I’m really busy”.
Are we doing ourselves any favours by staying so busy?
Or is it an impression we simply want to make to others by wearing a busy badge?
Is it really too easy to default to the word “busy” to describe your life?
What is it that you are really saying about yourself and your life?
Maybe you are busy, and you need to focus on your time management and being more productive.
“Crazy-busy’ is a great armour; it’s a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we’re feeling and what we really need can’t catch up with us.” – Brené Brown

Some Ideas

My invitation today – is to consider these four very simple ideas…
1. Slow down a little more and consider what matters most.
2. Determine not to use the word “busy” in response to any question!
3. Lear to say No!
4. Enjoy relaxation time.
Don’t let busyness hold you back from achieving what truly matters.
After all – busy, is a choice – right?

Groundhog Day

Every six weeks, Monic and I return to Schiphol Airport.
In the beginning of our mission, the pattern was arrivals on a Tuesday and departures on a Thursday.
Now, departures and arrivals all happen on the same day, a Friday.
We’re often there in between, for many other reasons too.
Regardless, we have a deep familiarity with Schiphol and our 42 day, six-week cycle.
Over these last 2 ½ years of consistent practice, we have learned many lessons.
Do you remember the 1993 movie Groundhog Day?
In the movie Bill Murray’s plays a cynical weatherman, who for some reason gets stuck in a repetitive time loop.
Repeating the same cycle over and over again (that was our 23rd last week) reminds me of the story line of the movie.
In the movie, through consistent practice, Bill Murray’s character Phil Connors, learns how to be remarkably resourceful by turning a challenging day into a great day.

Changes

During the course of the movie, he 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒔.
The lesson?
The more you focus on others by serving, being grateful and appreciative, the happier you will be.
In real life, through consistent practice, each missionary learns how to be remarkably resourceful by turning many challenging days into many great days.
Each missionary 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒔.
Likewise, their final day, is also a challenging one.
Transformed, these young men and women depart for home having become some of our dearest friends.
We all struggle to say farewell.
Departures are emotion filled, with tears of sadness and hugs aplenty.
In between their arrival and departure, we’ve experienced so much together – we’ve all 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝.
Moments later, the arrivals are also emotion filled, but this time the tears are filled with joy, wonder, excitement, and hugs aplenty.
The journey ahead will transform them too.
Every time is the same, but different.
What am I learning over and over again?
We create our own reality, by living to learn and learning to live.
Over and over again, we have the choice to make today, and every day, either sad or happy, dull or inspiring, meaningless or fulfilling.
What will you choose today to make it great?

Unearthly

General Conference was a smorgasbord of spiritual instruction and renewal.
Following the instruction leads us to the covenant path and Jesus Christ.
“𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝑪𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒂𝒍” was such a powerful address from President Nelson.

Memories

After his talk, a memory came to mind.
In May 1983, I turned 18, received the Melchizedek Priesthood and was ordained an Elder.
On 10th June, I joined many others on an overnight 12-hour bus journey to the London Temple, in Lingfield, Surrey.
We arrived a little tired on Saturday morning, ready to spend a day in the House of the Lord.
We live in a telestial world. Entering the temple, we symbolically enter a terrestrial world. And the celestial room in the temple allows us a little glimpse into heaven.

Endowment

Receiving your temple endowment is a very personal experience.
We receive instruction and eternal context for our mortal life.
An endowment is literally a “gift.” In this sense, the temple endowment is a gift of sacred blessings from God to each of us.
I recorded these words in my journal that day, “it was an unearthly experience”.
“Unearthly” – it was something spiritual, something deep and meaningful, directly from my soul.

Choices

That same day, I decided to serve a full-time mission and by November I was in the England London Mission.
I have never forgotten the feelings that entered my heart that day.
I made a choice, like many others have, “to take the long view, an eternal view.”
The cherished moments that day, were a few more steps on the covenant path to help me to start to “Think Celestial”.
“When you are confronted with a dilemma, think celestial!
When tested by temptation, think celestial!
When life or loved ones let you down, think celestial!
When someone dies “prematurely,” think celestial.
When someone lingers with a devastating illness, think celestial.
When the pressures of life crowd in upon you, think celestial!
As you recover from an accident or injury, think celestial!”
Call one of the missionaries today, they will help you to think celestial!
How can you think celestial?

Tick Tock

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 – it’s always running out for someone.
My assistants and I regularly talk about time.
We plan with exactness each 6-week transfer, 42 days to be precise.
Often, we specify minutes for planned events.
Growing older, my notion of time is that it goes faster and faster.
In the mission, there is always someone running out of time.
It focuses minds on the present.
How a watch measures time and how we as humans perceive it, are seemingly quite different.
Our ancestors measured time in days, weeks, months, seasons, and years.
Unlike our ancestors, our measurement of time is different.
Today, we measure time in milliseconds, seconds, minutes, and hours.
Blink, and weeks have gone.

Hymn

I love these words penned by Robert Baird.
“Time flies on wings of lightning;
We cannot call it back.
It comes, then passes forward
Along its onward track.
And if we are not mindful,
The chance will fade away,
For life is quick in passing.
’Tis as a single day.”
(“Improve the Shining Moments,” Hymns, no. 226)
Time is lightning paced.
Each of us are stewards of our time.
Each day counts.

Today

Commenting on world conditions this week UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres said, “Our world is becoming unhinged.”
In 2019, President Russell M. Nelson said, “I plead with you who have distanced yourselves from the Church and with you who have not yet really sought to know that the Saviour’s Church has been restored. Do the spiritual work to find out for yourselves, and please do it 𝐧𝐨𝐰. 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒖𝒕.”
It’s never too early or never too late to learn about Jesus Christ.
Take time today and speak to a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
It’ll be the best time you spend today.
Are you doing everything that you should be doing with your one precious life?

Uncommon

Yesterday, whilst waiting on others, it wasn’t long before I was chatting with a few of the missionaries.
Whilst doing so, I observed an uncommon behaviour.
𝐔𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧: “out of the ordinary; unusual, not seen, happening, or experienced often, rare.”
I drew closer to my fellow uncommon friend and we caught an in the moment picture together.
Thank you, Sadie Casperson
We laughed and talked for a little while about our uncommon habit.
See below – we’re focused on our watches!
The vast majority of people wear a watch on top of their wrists.
And I am certain they have a whole host of reasons why they do so.
But Sadie and I, wear our watches, along with the minority of people on the inside of our wrists.
I have often been asked why?
Firstly, it is most definitely a habit! I can’t remember not wearing it on the inside!
Secondly, for me turning my wrist to the inside feels much easier, more subtle, and gentler.
And thirdly, there is a practical implication! Professionally and also in my current responsibilities, it is much easier to discreetly glance at my watch and catch up on time during a coaching session or interview.
For me, it has nothing to do with style, protecting the watch against damage, or even to stop glare or reflection of the sun.
I know many professionals, nurses, plumbers, police, armed forces and others choose to wear their watches on the inside. But take a look around, it is uncommon.
Finally, I wear my watch on my non-dominant wrist. How about you?
What does it matter? – I hear you say….!
At the end of the day, there is no right or wrong way to wear a watch.
After all, it’s simply a matter of choice and preference.
Are you outside or inside? Why?
What uncommon habits do you have?

The Rear View

Ｔｈｅ Ｒｅａｒ Ｖｉｅｗ
Are you spending too much time looking in the rear-view mirror of life?
Periodically looking back on your life and past events with the understanding that some emotions may resurface from time to time, is okay.
It is certainly okay to wonder and ask, what if?
But how much time do you spend there?
Throughout my coaching career I have found that individuals often wonder what may have happened if they had done something differently or made a different choice.
For instance, what would have happened:
– 𝑰𝒇 they’d married the other person…
– 𝑰𝒇 they’d studied for a different degree…
– 𝑰𝒇 they’d taken the other job…
– 𝑰𝒇 they’d lived in another city or country…
It is okay to acknowledge those speculations, but don’t dwell or brood on them for too long.
Experience is a great teacher.
All of us live with some regrets.
They are a part of you, but they do not define you.
Instead focus on what you learned from them and how they have shaped you today.
Ultimately, it’s a bit like those drivers who stare in the rear-view mirror for far too long and run the risk of missing what lies ahead.
There may have been some crashes behind us, but it’s the bends ahead that matter now.
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
Don’t let your rear-view mirror be bigger than your front windshield.
Stop looking backward and start looking forward.
Remember you are the one in the driver’s seat!
How are you living your life by looking forwards?

As a Man Thinketh

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭?
“For as [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he” – Proverbs 23:7
The vast majority of Proverbs were written by King Solomon.
You will recall that he was regarded as one of the wisest men who ever lived.
Each concise proverb is designed to give us a deeper perspective on life, living, and in turn, hopefully better decision making!

My question then is…

“Is this statement actually really true?”
Consciously or subconsciously our minds are always in motion.
“Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny” said David O. McKay.
The ability to learn, to think, to choose, and to reason, all define us as human beings.
I believe that our innate ability to think, goes much, much deeper.
Essentially, our thoughts become a reflection of who we really are.
Daily, we can choose to fill our minds with whatever we want.
And there is so much choice!
Good, Bad, Beautiful, Ugly, Happy, Sad, Clean, Unclean, Cheerful, Dreary, Hope, Despair…..
Whatever we choose to let into our minds will in turn, generally become the pattern of what will then transpire in our lives.
Who we are, and where we are, in life is principally the result of our own actions and choices, all of which begin in our minds as thoughts and desires.
If you think it long enough, you are very likely to do it.
Daily we choose.
Daily we act.
It is in our minds that our futures are made.
We are responsible for the thoughts we think and the purposes we pursue.
You are the master of them.
Controlling our thoughts helps us to conquer ourselves.
“What we see triggers what we think, what we think influences what we desire, what we desire affects our actions, our combined actions determine our character, and our character determines our eternal destiny.” – Dallin H. Oaks
Is your mind a happy place to be?

Choose to Play

“𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲!
“𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡…𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧!? – 𝐍𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞!”
Why me? Perhaps the better question is why not me?
All too frequently as a teenager – that’s where I found myself in the High School Basketball team. I just wanted to play in the game.
I wanted a jersey, I didn’t want to sit on the sidelines – I simply wanted to play!
In my youthfulness and eagerness to play, long hours of practice and effort eventually paid off, and I became a regular starter – playing constantly.
I learned too, that sometimes when you are not playing well, the coach can take you out of the game.
Similarly in life, I want to be where the action is.
Sitting on the sidelines is just not for me.
At home, at work, in the community I need to be involved, I need to play, to make a difference.
As Oliver Wendell Holmes said “It is required of a man that he share the action and the passion of his time at the peril of being judged not to have lived.”
Whatever it is that is most important in your life…
– choose to be engaged
– choose to participate
– choose to practice and expend the effort
– choose to get involved
– choose to make a difference
Decide now to get up off the bench, move from the sidelines and into the field of action – 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚!
What will you choose to do today?

Attitude

“How do I remain 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, when so many around me are negative”?
Our attitude can make all the difference in our lives.
Said another way, so much in life, really depends upon our attitude.
M. Russell Ballard speaking many years ago commented that a “good attitude produces good results, a fair attitude fair results, and a poor attitude poor results. We each shape our own life, and the shape of it is determined largely by our attitude.”
During our time on earth, challenges will certainly come, they are after all, a natural part of life. We all worry at times. And of course there are times of concern and anxiety too.
But we can choose to be positive and cheerful.
The way we choose to see things, the way we behave or the way we respond to others can and will make all the difference.
Remember; “A merry heart doeth good, like a medicine.” – Proverbs 17:22
I love these observations by Charles Swinton about attitude …

Attitude

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude…
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
And so, it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes”

Some top tips for those around us who may be a little negative.

  1. Counteract their negativity, with your positivity.
  2. Focus on their virtues, not their faults.
  3. Even if they have some negative comments, look for the positive in them.
  4. Be honest with them and share how their comments make you feel.
  5.  Discuss with them what’s going well in their life.
  6.  Set your own boundaries and ask yourself how much you are going to allow others to influence you.
We live in challenging times, however, lets choose to accentuate the positive and see the good in those around us, if we slow down and look, we will find plenty to be positive about.
How can you choose to be 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 today?
#attitude

The Right Thing

“𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠?” I asked…
Life has some strange turns – let me explain.
Recently I recalled an experience from some years ago, when I faced a difficult moment of truth, when my moral courage was challenged to do the right thing.
I was faced with a difficult decision of remaining quiet during a tough sales negotiation with a senior colleague, or correcting (what seemed to me) a deliberate glaring error that my colleague had made.
The error that was influencing the clients buying decision in a very positive way.
Correcting and embarrassing my colleague in front of the client was forefront of my mind – I didn’t want to do that.
So, I decided to wait for a break in our negotiations.
During the break, I pointed out the error to my senior colleague – who was not too pleased with me. I chose to hold my ground.
Some minutes later, it was determined to return to the negotiation table, share the mistake (at great cost to our deal), but secure the deal with our integrity intact.

We did “𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈.”

I was reminded by a quote by Gordon B. Hinckley; “The problem with most of us is that we are afraid to stand up for what we believe, to be witnesses for what is true and right. We want to do the right thing, but we are troubled by fears. So we sit back, and the world drifts about us, and society increasingly adopts attitudes and standards of behaviour that most of us do not approve of.”
My message today is – consider your moral compass and choose to do 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠!
Do what is right even though it seems that you will be alone in so doing.
Your conscience will always be clear and the truth will set you free.
Facing a tough choice today? Remember to do the right thing.
#integrity