Tag Archive for: Care

Care as a response to Chaos…

After a long and productive day of team meetings in London yesterday, returning to my hotel room late in the evening, (somewhat foolishly on reflection now) I turned the news on.

Some words came to mind as I watched the stories unfold, and wrote them in my journal.

Conflict.
Confusion.
Calamities.
Commotion.
Conspiracies.

I didn’t invite those words into my thoughts; they simply arrived there.

We do, indeed, live in perilous times.

For some, there is a growing collective anxiety, as these c’s of chaos flooded into my mind.

“What can I do?” I thought.

Then I recalled one of Stephen Covey’s simple models mentioned earlier in the day, the circle of influence and control. Thankfully, it brought some peace to my mind.

The model reminds us that there are many things we are concerned about, yet there are only a smaller number of things we can truly influence.

The trouble begins when we spend too much emotional energy living in the outer circle, where the headlines, the geopolitics, the speculation, the fear and anxiety can flourish – if unchecked.

But when I consciously stepped back into my own circle of influence, something shifted for me.

In the quiet of the hotel room, I drew a simple circle on the hotel notepaper and wrote down the C’s that matter most to me.

I realised that I can choose a different set of C’s to live by.

Again, my mind returned to one of Aviva’s core values that we’d been talking about earlier in the day – care.  As I did so, some other c’s came to mind…

Within my own circle of influence, I can choose care in how I treat others. I can practice compassion when fear shows up in a conversation. I can seek clarity in what I choose to watch and share. I can also cultivate calm rather than constant reaction. But above all I can act with courage by living my values quietly and consistently.

Of course, none of this will change the news headlines.

But it does change something closer to home.

It steadies my own inner world.

And perhaps, in some small way, it might help steady yours too.

Because when the C’s of chaos feel overwhelming, choosing the C’s of care within our own circle of influence, may be the most personal and the most powerful response we have.

Where can you choose care today?

One Step at a Time

On a New Years Day trip to Glasgow, we enjoyed taking our grandson out for a while.
It was a chilly one, but we all got dressed as warmly as we could.
We headed towards the park and had some fun there.
At one point, he walked towards the steps and Monic said “just let him go, he loves steps.”
And off he went.
He has only been walking a few weeks, so I watched with interest how he’d master 4 flights of stairs.

Stepping Up

Step by step, he’d pull himself up, one by one.
He was frequently distracted by small pebbles, and he’d stop and try and pick one up, but with his winter gloves on that proved tricky for him.
I was behind him the whole time, to support and steady him on his big adventure, ready to step in if needed.
And every now and again, he looked around just to make sure that I was there.
Making it to the top seemed to me that it was a long way for him to go.
It proved to be a little too much and I helped him complete his journey in his time of need.

Help on Hand

Reflecting this morning, I am so grateful for all who have been there for me in my time of need.
Sometimes as we set out on life’s big adventure, unexpected challenges, difficulties and distractions can arise that can test us in many ways, temporally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Adversity is often the refining fire that can strengthen us in so many ways, including our faith.
Rarely by removing the challenge, but by reminding us that we are not alone in it.
Looking back, I can see how often help has come at just the right moment for me.
Through family. Through friends. Through quiet acts of kindness and timely reassurance.
And, at times, through the unseen watchful care of a loving Heavenly Father.
“I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders… that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.” – Mosiah 24:14
As a new year begins, I’m grateful not just for the journeys we are invited to take, but for the help we are given along the way.
I am thankful too for the gentle reminder that when the climb becomes too much, there is always Someone close by, ready to steady us and help us home.
Who has helped steady you along the way?

Where We Place the Light

All day I’d been talking about candles.
It was Christmas after all, and I felt the house needed some more atmosphere.
That soft warmth and flickering sense of seasonal intention.
Monic, as ever, was very patient with me.
Perhaps I’d been influenced by recent weeks of encouraging others to let their light shine and light the world. Perhaps I was trying to practice what I’d been sharing. Either way, I eventually settled on what felt like the perfect solution.
Candles, set on the bookcase.
Monic gently suggested I be careful.
We then did what many do at Christmas. We sat down together and started a game of Sequence. Cards dealt. Concentration engaged. Festive harmony achieved.
We didn’t get very far, when only a few minutes into the game, Amilya shrieked:
“𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑩𝑶𝑶𝑲𝑪𝑨𝑺𝑬 𝑰𝑺 𝑶𝑵 𝑭𝑰𝑹𝑬!
And indeed, it certainly was.
A sudden dash. A moment of collective disbelief. One glass of water deployed with impressive urgency. The flames were extinguished. The danger passed.
The damage, however, was done – a scorched bookcase…
In all our years together, we’ve never had a fire quite like that at home.
And certainly not one caused by an attempt to create cosy Christmas atmosphere.
It turns out that not all light belongs everywhere.
This has become something of a cautionary fun tale in our home.
Good intentions matter, but so does wisdom.
Enthusiasm is powerful, but it still needs boundaries.
And light, for all its goodness, must be placed carefully if it’s truly going to bless rather than burn.
Life and Leadership can be a bit like that.
We encourage people to shine. To bring energy. Passion. Conviction. Light. But timing matters. Context matters. And listening to those around us matters too – especially the calm voice saying, “Just be careful.”
Too much light, in the wrong place, without enough thought, can cause unintended damage – even when my motive was a pure one.
The aim isn’t to dim the light, rather It’s to place it well.
And perhaps… keep a glass of water nearby, just in case! 😉
Whose quiet voice saying “be careful” might be worth listening to today?

Warm Hearts, Cold Days.

Weeks in the planning, Raymond, Paul, Mike, and I set off for the temple in Preston last Tuesday, for three days away together.
It was a journey that proved to be both heartwarming and nostalgic, taking us down memory lane to recall much simpler times of a bygone era.
The trip had its roots in an initial conversation between Raymond and me several weeks ago.
What began as a casual chat, eventually grew into a plan, culminating in our journey this week.
For Raymond, it had been several years since he was last able to visit the temple, between covid times and health challenges keeping him away.

Planning & Logistics

After lengthy discussions with staff at his care home and with other family members, we were delighted to receive the green light to proceed.
However, the logistics required no small amount of effort.
Booking a specialist vehicle, arranging disabled accommodation at the temple, obtaining the necessary recommendations, and figuring out his care requirements were all hurdles we had to overcome.
Add to that the bitterly cold, freezing temperatures and the challenge of manoeuvring Raymond and his wheelchair into the back of the accessible vehicle, proved quite the operation!
Yet somehow, we managed it all.

The Rewards

The reward was three days of service in the temple, filled with gentle camaraderie and timeless moments that felt truly idyllic.

We certainly liked to tease one another – a lot!
Being at the temple and the shared purpose brought a sense of peace and togetherness that was both comforting and uplifting.
As we ministered to one another, sharing acts of love and kindness, I was reminded of Galatians 6:2, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”
The experience was a wonderful reminder of the power of friendship, careful planning, and staying young at heart despite life’s challenges.
This trip wasn’t just about the temple, on reflection it was also about the bonds between us.
Through witty banter, shared memories, and quiet reflections, we experienced a kind of cheerful resilience and a reminder of what truly matters in life.
It was charming, heartwarming, and an experience that we’ll treasure for years to come.
What cherished memories or moments of ministering have brought you joy and strengthened your bonds with others?

Do you care?

Do you question your motives?
The crux of my personal philosophy in life, the nucleus of my personal motivation, is centred upon a core belief that “nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care” a phrase attributed to Theodore Roosevelt and crafted so purposely by him.
In thousands of coaching conversations, I have learned a little.
As you….
𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝
𝐀𝐬𝐤 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬
𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬
𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞
𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞.
Showing interest in others is about being yourself,
being genuine
and sincere in your interest in another person.
𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐃𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐌𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞?

Friendship

What new friendships have you made this year?
Reflecting this morning, on the year gone by, I got to thinking about all my friendships anew.
There have been many, all across the world.
A friend cares.
A friend is honest.
A friend reaches out.
A friend listens.
A friend loves.
To all my friends old and new, I discovered a poem that encapsulates how I feel about each of you. I have no idea who wrote it. Enjoy.

“𝐀 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮”

There’s a tenderness comes stealing
O’er this heart of mine today
And a warm and happy feeling
That can never fade away;
Just a feeling that is growing
Every day each long year through –
It’s the joy that comes through knowing
That I have a friend like you.
Round my heart are memories clinging
Of the golden days of old.
And they set my soul a-singing
With a happiness untold.
Yes, our pulsing heart throbs, treasured
Through the years of friendship true
Make me prize the love unmeasured
Of a good old friend like you.
Every passing day I wish you
All the joy your heart will hold;
May success be always with you
As the coming years unfold.
That the fast-approaching morrows
May see all your dreams come true
And contain but minor sorrows,
In my wish, dear friend, for you.
May our friendship grow and strengthen
In the misty years to come,
So that when life’s shadows lengthen
And our mortal race is run,
We may still be friends united –
Still be comrades staunch and true;
That our ways may e’er be lighted,
Yours by me and mine by you.
To all my friends old and new, I hope that 2022, brings you all your hopes and dreams you could ever wish for.
From one good friend to another – Much Love. 💕

Compassion

We are entering unknown territory. One word plays constantly through my mind – 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏. It literally means “to suffer with” to show mercy, pity and sympathy for another.

I am certain that as we enter the uncharted waters of our day, in the weeks that lie ahead, being more compassionate and having an awareness of others’ distress along with a desire to lighten or relieve those difficulties will be crucial for each and everyone of us.

You can show compassion by listening to others and being understanding. Please, put yourself in their circumstances and consider how they might feel. Showing compassion can be as simple as showing genuine interest in peoples’ lives.

Think of a time when someone really listened to you. How did it make you feel? How do you feel toward that person?

Lets be mindful of our family, friends, work colleagues, neighbours, especially the elderly and infirm – consider their physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

Who could benefit from your compassionate listening today? Who could use your actions of compassion today?