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Are your boundaries set?

It is never too late to learn about boundaries.  Are yours set? Why do they matter? Do you have poor boundaries?

We understand the need for boundaries in sports such as football, golf, cricket, hockey or tennis.  Boundary lines are clearly marked on the playing field.  Out of bounds always has consequences.  Similarly boundary lines are equally important in the game of life.  Boundaries reflect what we value most deeply. They are a form of empowerment, strength, and a way for us to align with our identity, our desires, where we stand and what we stand for in the world. Having strong boundaries means knowing what you like, what you accept and equally, what you can tolerate.  Are yours discernible? We need to recognise them and protect ourselves against hazards that will come in life.

I am sure that each of us will have our everyday boundary battles.  So – what about your boundaries – have you figured them out yet?  For example, are you regularly working more hours than you get paid for at work?  Are you covering someone else’s responsibilities as well as your own?  Are you frequently bringing work or stress home with you? Are you adopting a do it yourself attitude when it may be more helpful to delegate to someone else or simply ask for help?  Boundaries matter!  We all have the right to set boundaries and have them respected.

Here are some helpful tips to consider:

  • What do you really desire in life, what are your key values?
  • Consider those things that are acceptable and those which are not.
  • Recognise that it is okay to say no!

Sometimes, boundaries will be crossed, view these moments as instructive, rather than a backwards step. Recently I had an experience that pushed me across one of my own personal boundaries, and it was only after sleeping on it, that I understood the power of simply saying no!  In the process I rediscovered a unique sense of freedom and peace of mind too.  I think this post today has been inspired by that one experience, as I simply made a promise to get in touch with my own personal boundaries again and start to reinforce them – doing so, brings great relief!

Building boundaries takes time and practice.  Setting up personal and professional boundaries is not easy, but it is worth it!  In summary boundaries help you stand up for what you believe in. Boundaries include saying what you want and what you don’t want, and recognising that not everyone will agree with that. They help you become the person you want to be.  Know yourself!

So – on you go then, get on with it!  Start living them today!