Tag Archive for: Becoming

Finding North

Last week, during another Lead the Way programme, a small theme quietly appeared in the room.

Early one afternoon, my co-facilitator Melody had referenced an image of a compass and spoke about the significance of direction.

A little later, during an activity on change, one of our participants, Greta, used the word compass again.

That caught my attention.

I always carry a small compass in my backpack. It was a 60th birthday gift from my brother and sister-in-law last year, and for me it has become more than a lovely keepsake.

It is a reminder to keep asking myself: What direction am I choosing?

An activity sprang to mind.

In that moment, I asked all 27 participants to stand, close their eyes, and point north.

Whilst their eyes were closed, I placed my compass on a table to reveal true north.

When they opened their eyes, the room was chaotic.

Fingers were pointing in almost every possible direction. One person was even pointing confidently towards the ceiling!  There was a fair amount of uncertainty.

Only a few were actually pointing north.

It made us all smile, but it also made us think, because leadership can be like that.

We can be in the same room, part of the same conversation, facing the same change, and still have very different assumptions about where “north” actually is.

That is why direction matters.

In Lead the Way, the compass is also part of our programme branding, and perhaps that is why the moment landed so well. It was no longer just an image on a screen or a symbol on a wall, it had become a lived metaphor in the room.

A central theme on the programme is when we ask our participants shape to their “I am” statements, where we hope they are not just writing words, but creating a compass for the kind of leader they are choosing to become, in order to literally Lead the Way.

A reminder of what they stand for.
A guide when change feels disorientating which can happen regularly.
A way of noticing whether their behaviour is aligned with their intention.

The compass is a simple symbol, but it carries a deep leadership question:

Do you know where you are heading, and are you helping others find direction too?

Sometimes leadership begins with exactly that, by simply finding your true north.

The Work of Waiting

Two years ago, this weekend, I was in Leidschendam in the Netherlands.
It was late on Sunday evening, the clock was edging towards midnight, as I watched the final moments of General Conference.
And then it came.
President Russell M. Nelson announced that a temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints would be built in Edinburgh, Scotland.
Exciting?… That doesn’t quite capture it at all!
Within seconds, my phone lit up. Messages poured in from friends all over the world…😊
It was one of those moments I’ll never forget.
And now… two years have passed.
And we’re still waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
No site announced (yet) and no visible progress (at least to me).
Just… 𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈.
In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust.
But recently I’ve found myself wondering… what am I doing with the waiting?
Because the truth is, so much of life – and discipleship – is lived in that space.
Not in the announcement.
Not in the completion.
But in the quiet, in-between.
The preparation space.
The Lord has always worked this way.
“Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)
Stillness is not inactivity.
Waiting is not wasted.
It can be a season of becoming and exercising faith in the Lord’s timing.
A time to prepare hearts, homes, and habits.
A time to deepen faith, not just anticipate blessings.
I have learned that through the gospel of Jesus Christ, we learn that God’s blessings come according to His divine timetable, not ours.
So, for now, we wait and we 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆.
Perhaps the question is not: When will the temple come?
But rather: Who am I becoming while I wait?
And maybe even… Will I be ready when it does?

Past Blessings, Future Promises

Last week we had two of our missionaries from our time in Belgium and the Netherlands come and visit with us.
Joey de Sousa from Chorley and Lucas Montoya from San Antonio Texas served together in Arnhem four years ago. It meant a lot to have them come and spend time with us – it was such a joy!
Lucas stayed with us for a few days and was able to visit Edinburgh, Pitlochry, and Stirling while he was here.
Whenever missionaries visit, the conversation often turns to our memories of our time together.
We talk about people we visited with, experiences we had together, and moments that shaped us. I think it’s quite natural to look back and think those were the best times.
But a thought kept coming to me: in the gospel, the best times are not only behind us. With the Lord, the best years are 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒂𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅.

Looking Forward

I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is all about progression.
The Lord is always inviting us forward, helping us grow, refine, and become more than we are today.
No matter our age or stage of life, there is still more joy to feel, more people to bless, and more that the Lord can do with us.
I was reminded of the promise in the Book of Mormon, in Ether 12:4 : “Whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world… which hope cometh of faith.”
That promise applies to all of us. The Lord is not finished with any of us yet.
Some of our sweetest experiences in the gospel will undoubtedly still be ahead.
So maybe a good question for us to reflect on is simply this: Are we looking forward with faith as much as we look back with gratitude?
I’m so grateful for the wonderful memories the Lord has given us, and I have faith that as we continue to follow Him, He still has many good things prepared for us to come.

Elders

Every week, along with one or two others, I sit in a meeting to coordinate our missionary efforts in Dunfermline.
Two participants are our current missionary Elders Billy Jơckey and Angel Malarde, from the Pacific Islands of Vanuatu and Tahiti.
It’s funny that they are here together in a rather chilly Scottish winter!
Something happened this week, that made me think about them and the word “Elder”, in a slightly different way.
While facilitating a leadership programme, a behavioural change model was referenced by my colleague: Child, Adolescent, Adult, and Elder. Each state carries certain characteristics, depending on the situation.
We discussed the “Elder” state, which is typically wisdom-based, usually marked by perspective, steadiness, and a longer view of life.
As my fellow facilitator waxed lyrical about the “Elder” state, my thoughts drifted elsewhere.

My Understanding

I found myself thinking about the many missionary “Elders” I’ve known, hundreds, perhaps even thousands.
My lived experience of the word “Elder” was rather different from what was being described in that moment.
I don’t mean that unkindly, it’s simply my observation.
What struck me wasn’t that the model was wrong at all, rather it was the word “Elder” was being used in a very different way to how I’ve come to understand it through my lifetime.
In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Elder isn’t a developmental description, it’s an ordained office in the Melchizedek Priesthood.
We don’t wait until a young man has accumulated wisdom, perspective, or life experience and then say, now you qualify to be an Elder.
We do the opposite. We ordain first.
Responsibility is placed on young shoulders, and we trust that growth will follow.
Over the years, I’ve seen that growth happen time and time again.
Some of the youngest missionaries I’ve known have shown moments of remarkable wisdom, humility, and quiet maturity, often surprising themselves as much as anyone else – including me!
In essence they are becoming elders, long before they reach the age that the world associates with the term itself.
Reach out to them and find out for yourself!
What would it look like for you to live a little more “elder-like” today, regardless of your age?

Becoming along the Way

Since I was a teenager, goals have been a big part of my life.
Sometimes daily. Sometimes just sitting quietly in the background.
I’ve written five-year plans and even ten-year life plans. Some of them worked beautifully. Others, well, they didn’t work at all.
Yet both mattered.
Like many others, I’ve felt the pull of the New Year resolution (again). It got me thinking about the summer this last year and the walk along the West Highland Way.
The annual moment at new year, is when many of us will pause, reflect, and decide that something in our life deserves intention – that certainly happened last year.
Yet over time, I’ve learned that goals aren’t really about the calendar. They’re about direction.
Goals have never been about reaching a finish line for me, but about choosing who I’m becoming along the way.
They are also about the struggles and the stretching!
When goals succeed, they build confidence. When they fail, they build clarity.
Failure has been one of my greatest teachers. It forces reflection and invites learning.
I like the idea that FAIL simply means 𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝑨𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒕 𝑰𝒏 𝑳𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈.
Most growth arrives that way, not through perfection, but through adjustment.
Looking back, the goals I missed shaped me just as much as the ones I achieved.
They helped me to understand my personal values.
They also showed me where I needed more patience, more honesty, and even more courage.
That’s the quiet power of goals. They don’t just guide what we do. They shape how we show up. In small, repeated choices, they help us become a little more aligned with who we want to be.
And in the end, that matters far more than any finish line.
Who are you becoming through the goals you’re setting right now?

We Are Our Thoughts

Our thoughts are incredibly powerful.
They affect us in many ways – our mood, our behaviours and our outlook on life.
I’ve always loved the scripture in Proverbs 23:7, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…”
Recently I have been paying much more attention to the things I am thinking every day.
I consider whether my thoughts are positive, negative or even neutral.
…Apply the proverb to real life…
If my thoughts are filled with positivity, then so I will be.
…with negativity, then so I will be.
We literally become our thoughts.
We 𝒂𝒓𝒆 our thoughts.
In short – I am learning again that the quality of my thoughts has a direct impact on the quality of my life.
I love this quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”
Subsequently, if you want to have a more meaningful and purposeful life, then begin to pay more attention to the things you think about every day.
Start by considering the things you tell yourself every day.
For example, are you struggling with someone?
A spouse, partner, a sibling, parents, a friend, or a workmate perhaps?
Pause for a moment and stop yourself.
Watch your thoughts…
Do you see what is happening in that moment?
What do you think about in your heart, when you think of them?
What do you notice?
Are your thoughts negative or positive?
If its negative, challenge yourself, and your thinking.
For me those challenges start early in the morning, when I make plans for the day ahead.
Start by engaging new positive thoughts and watch them start to grow day by day.
See how it feels.
I am relearning that when we change your thoughts, you can change your life, one thought at a time.
What would happen if you took just one thought today and intentionally shifted it from negative to positive?

Be

Put your mobile down.
Set your tablet or laptop aside.
Turn the television off.
Put down your book.
Are you paying attention?
Just be here.

𝐁𝐞.

In a world filled with distractions it can be easy to get side-tracked and lose focus on the person or people that matter most of all.
In a recent coaching interview, one missionary asked me a question something like this…
“President, how can I improve my communication skills?”
Reflecting for a moment, as I observed the missionary and made eye contact, I asked a question that focused on being present and the unspoken dialogue I observed before me.
I asked, “Look at me and tell me what you observe?”
Hesitating the missionary responded… “I see you!”
“What else do you see?” I asked.
“You’re sitting comfortably”.
“Yes, I am sitting comfortably, but what else?” I said.
There were a few more interactions.
However, unable to see what I was driving at; I described my body language.
Then the missionary understood that I’d been delicately mirroring or matching the gesture’s, expressions, tone of voice and seating posture throughout our conversation.
What was I really saying?
I was indicating… “I am curious about you and making an effort to understand you.”
I had slowed down.
It was a moment of true bewilderment, to watch the reaction unfold.
Observing and listening, along with things we speak, are equally critical parts of communicating, that show you care.
“We must develop the capacity to see [others] not as they are at present but as they may become.” – Thomas S. Monson.
True disciples of Jesus Christ seek to follow His example in the ways they communicate.
I love this scripture from Ephesians 4:29 …“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”
If you want to develop Christlike communication, then speak with a missionary today.

Habits

𝐇𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬!
I have a regular early morning routine.
It’s a habit of mine.
It’s precious time, to set me up for all the activities and plans for the day ahead.
I pray, meditate, read, study, ponder, plan, journal and reflect on those things that matter most.
Frequently, it is the most insightful couple of hour’s of my day.
In fact, getting up early has also become a habit of a lifetime.
At home in Scotland in our living room, we have a massive clock that hangs on our wall, above the fireplace.
In the wee small hours of every morning, it has an extremely loud TICK TOCK! Here in the Netherlands, the clock is smaller, but equally loud!
So much so, that I have for many years now reverted to placing ear plugs in each of my ears to block out the noise of the clock, during my precious morning routine.
In fact, that has become another habit of mine.
The reward is silence!
I guess I could sit elsewhere in another room perhaps, but no, my choice is always the living room, because it is comfortable there and I love to pick up a book to study!
How I love the silence of the morning.
These habits, have become part of who I am.
“Your habits shape your identity and your identity shapes your habits.” – James Clear.
Your habits shape what you will become.
I believe that one of the keys to success in life is instilling good habits.
So, what are your habits?
What regular routines do you have in your life that formulate the essence of your being?

Practice!

What makes a man or a woman a good musician?
𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞.
What makes someone a good singer?
𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞.
What makes someone a good footballer?
𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞.
A good artist?
𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞.
A good teacher?
𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞.
A good boss?
𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞.
A good cook?
𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞.
A good missionary?
𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞.
A good mum, or dad?
𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞.
A good man or woman?
𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞.
There is really nothing else, but 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞..
What are you becoming through your 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞?

Be there!

𝐁𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞!
Whilst on a video call last night with our three grown children, my mind drifted back to when they were all much smaller.
In my minds eye, I was holding hands with our youngest daughter, walking through our beautiful park in town.
It felt like only yesterday, but 10 years have swiftly passed by.
Those tender moments are one of the sweetest, most enjoyable parts of life.
Suddenly – growing older, there can come a sense of having been there – and yet knowingly perhaps, I should have enjoyed the journey much, much more.
I’m sure those old like me, or older even – will understand my sentiment.
Life is going on all of the time.
Sometimes we are so focused on the next big thing, that we miss much of the beautiful scenery along the way.
Time with loved ones, the holidays, the picnics, the walks, the challenges are all part of 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.
There is purpose and meaning to all that we experience and undergo in this life.
We should enjoy our children when we have them around us, as I know now, they won’t always be with us.
Back then when they were young, they not only needed us, they also wanted us too!
We live through each part of our life only once, we don’t go back, so it is vitally important that we 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆!
There are few sweeter memories than your child’s hand in yours, walking with you.
Wherever you are, 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, be present and enjoy the moment, our life after all, is only a nanosecond of time.
How can you focus better, be present and be engaged in the here and now?