Beyond the Badge

Another Lead the Way programme cohort concluded earlier this week for me with Aviva in Perth .

One of the unexpected highlights was the development of a rather unlikely new friendship.

I am a supporter of my local football team, Dunfermline Athletic. During introductions on our first day, I discovered that one of our participants, Andrew, regrettably, supports Falkirk.

For those unfamiliar with the finer points of Scottish football, this is not an insignificant detail. We are proper rivals.  The kind of rivalry where friendly conversation is perfectly acceptable, provided it includes a little teasing, a suspicious glance and the occasional reminder of who supports the better team.

So, naturally, when we first met, we played it up.

There was banter. There were accusations. There may even have been some wholly objective observations about the questionable judgement required to support Falkirk or Dunfermline for that matter.

But something rather lovely happened as the programme continued: we began to discover how much we had in common.

We both have strong backgrounds in sales. I’d also previously carried out some learning and development work in Andrew’s former company. We share similar interests and experiences.

We are also both relatively new to Aviva, having joined within the last year.

And then came the real surprise – both our wives are Dutch.

That unusual discovery opened up an entirely new conversation about the Netherlands, language, culture, family life and some of the shared experiences that come from being married to Dutch women.

Suddenly, the football rivalry seemed a little less important.

Leadership can sometimes be like that.

We meet people through the labels we can immediately see: department, organisation, role, background, nationality, belief, or sometimes even a football team. Those labels can create distance before a real conversation has even begun.

It’s my experience that good leaders remain curious, moving beyond the badge to discover the person.

They ask questions, listen carefully and look for the experiences, hopes and values that connect us. It doesn’t mean pretending that our differences don’t exist. Andrew will still support Falkirk, and I will continue trying to help him see the error of his ways… 😉

But differences do not have to become divisions.

Sometimes the person standing on the opposite side of a rivalry has far more in common with us than we first imagined – that was our experience this week.

Perhaps leadership begins when we stop asking, “Which side are you on?” and become curious enough to ask, “What might we share?”

What might you discover if you became genuinely curious?

Rivals may not always change their colours, but with a little humour, openness and genuine conversation, they can certainly become friends.