The Thinking Face

The other day, I was co-facilitating a virtual learning session on coaching for Aviva, on their new flagship leadership programme, Lead the Way.

After an initial exploration of the topic and some key areas to focus on, we sent the participants off into breakout rooms in trios and pairs for a little practice.

Armed with good intentions, a handful of questions, some listening skills and a new coaching model, they had just enough structure to get going.

And off they went.

As I dropped in and out of the rooms, something caught my attention.

Not the questions, the coaching model or even their listening skills.

Rather, it was their 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬.

Many had a very familiar look that said something like, “I’m concentrating very hard on getting this right….”

You know that sort of look that was slightly tense, yet focused, and thinking more about the process, than the person.

There was a kind of intensity about them.

It was coaching… but it didn’t quite feel like connection.

Connection Coaching

I smiled, because (although it’s been a while) I’ve been there too.

In coaching, we can get so wrapped up in doing it right that we forget something simple: Your face is always speaking and more importantly, it is a very powerful tool in the coaching world.

Prior to sending them off into the breakout rooms, we’d spent a while considering questions, those of the verbal variety.

Experience has taught me that you can ask many questions in non-verbal ways through facial expressions, eye contact, a raised eyebrow, a puzzled look, tilting your head to the side, tugging your ear, placing your hand on your cheek, stroking your chin, using hand gestures to help or a combination of them all.

Self-awareness is paramount.

So, I left them with one thought towards the end of the session: “Have a think about what your face was saying.”

It may not something we often think about too often, but it might be one of the simplest ways to become a better coach.

Because great coaching isn’t just in the words we use… it’s frequently in the signals we send.

👉 What is your face saying?