Shoes That Don’t Fit

This week, during a leadership session, I decided to make things a little more practical.

I invited one of the participants to quite literally stand in my shoes.

She slipped her feet into my size 9.5 leather shoes with plenty of room to spare, and I tried stepping into her size 5 trainers.

I couldn’t even get my heels inside them!

There I was, perched awkwardly on the balls of my feet, heels hanging over the back, trying to stay upright.

It was quite funny and slightly ridiculous!

“Your shoes are very warm.” she said.

We were exploring empathy and the phrase “standing in another person’s shoes.”

Empathy is feeling 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 someone, whilst sympathy is feeling 𝒇𝒐𝒓 someone.

I know that empathy begins by showing a little more kindness.

It is our ability to understand another person’s feelings, thoughts, and condition from their perspective rather than our own.

Standing in those trainers, I felt a little unsteady, constrained, definitely off balance and it changed how I felt.

In my experience, empathy is about being present in a conversation, listening attentively, being open-minded without judgement and giving them your undivided attention.

I know too, that sometimes, in those moments, something beautiful happens with a human connection, or a small glimpse into how they are feeling.

Our Saviour Jesus Christ is the perfect example of this. He does not merely observe our struggles. He understands them.

“He will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people…” (Alma 7:11–12)

He didn’t stand at a distance offering sympathy, rather He descended below all things and knew what it felt like to be weary, misunderstood, alone and off balance.

Because He walked our mortal path, He can now walk beside us perfectly.

I believe that empathy is something that can be learned, it simply begins with curiosity.

Empathy isn’t only about words, it’s also about noticing the tone of voice, facial expressions and what’s not being said.

This week, I stood awkwardly in someone else’s shoes and nearly toppled over.

Try walking in another’s shoes today. Go on, give it a go.

I hope we can walk as He walked, with compassion in our hearts and steadiness in our step.

Whose shoes have you never really tried to understand?