Being Heard
๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐๐ฌ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐๐?
Years ago, when training to be a coach, one of the first exercises we were encouraged to do in our practice sessions, was listening to another person for five minutes.
After listening for five minutes, the roles were reversed.
It involved paying close attention and actively listening.
As the short activity was debriefed, I can recall two insightful takeaways.
Firstly, during the short activity, some kind of internal distraction occurred, allowing the mind to drift, which took the attention of the listener away, even for a few nanoseconds at a time.
Secondly, when listening to someone intently, there was a strong tendency to want to add or share your own views on the topic being shared by interrupting.
For instance, have you ever sat in a cafรฉ somewhere and been distracted by someone at another table, or been tempted to listen into someone elseโs conversation instead?
Whilst listening intently to otherโs it easy to get distracted by another thought popping into your head.
So โ what can we do about it?
All of us at times are liable to be distracted.
The key is to notice it instantly and, in that moment, decide to let the thought go, rather than pursuing it further.
Real listening only happens when we pay attention and have a real desire to understand what we are hearing.
In turn, when people feel heard, they are more willing to listen.
Do you want to be heard?
#distractions